Up...up...and awaaaaay!

Yep, our LOA has been signed, copied, kissed, sealed and its on its way back toour agency! Being that CCAA is closed this week, we sent it 2 day, so it should arrive on Wednesday. Heritage will then turn it around and send it back to CCAA so they could have it first thing when they reopen after the holidays. Then it's just a matter of (hopefully!!) 2 weeks before we get TA (travel approval). I am still pretty in shock. REALITY IS HITTING! We are going to be the proud parents of THREE babies. Oh my Lord!!! My heart races at the thought. I am sooooooooooo scared. But, I know I could do it. I can't wait to see Anna Grace. I was talking to Scott yesterday about how our Gotcha moment may be like. What will she be wearing? Will she and Kai get along or will there be sibling rivalry from the get-go? Will she grieve alot? How big is she? Will she be quiet and gentle or will she be loud and boisterous like her brothers. What, if any, delays will she have? Soooo many questions fill my mind. Yet, none of them really matter. All that matters is that our Lord & Savior has blessed us once again and we will love and adore her beyond measure. Whatever issues she comes with are part of the package and part of who she is and we will work through them together, as a family.

Kai has been carrying her little picture around and speaks to everyone about his "Annnnnnnnaaa". I know that he has no concept that she is "real" and that she is coming home to intrude on "his" turf, or so he thinks is his. heh. But, he does love his Mei-Mei.

Our friend, April, has offered to take some pictures (and possible video...OMG!!!) of her when she visits the orphanage with her new son, Aiden. I can't wait to see if she has changed any. Although, again, Lord I can't thank you enough for every single month of this wait, since it began, you have provided us with pictures and/or info on our sweet baby. Even down to the last week or two of the wait before we meet her! THANK YOU, JESUS!

On another note, I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't motivated myself to do anything about packing or getting the necessary stuff we need for the trip. (Rest assured we will not be packing like last time.) Going back to the why...maybe it's because I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop....or because this time it's a bit easier since we've already been down this road. I don't know. All I know that is that we will be traveling over 16,000 miles in 4-6 weeks and all I do is sit around and daydream about our girl!

YES!! WE ACCEPT!!

We were out working in the hot sun when the DHL truck pulled up to the house. Since CCAA is closed next week, we weren't expecting the package with our LOA until Monday...but here it was!!! So, both Scott and I and a very excited big brother, Kai, ran out to him (lucky driver didn't get a camera in his face because we were outside already!) and tore the package open! Below is a video clip of the official signing and marking the "WE ACCEPT" box. The translation of the Letter of Seeking Confirmation Form says:

"Based on your application, the following child has been assigned to you. You are kindly requested to give your decision as soon as possible to CCAA through your adoption agency." Then her name is listed below!! HEC YEA! WE ACCEPT!!!! IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!

DREAMS DO COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wooohoooo!!!!!! We are beyond excited. Thank you, Jesus!!! You are so faithful in your promises. Both being DTC was right before Chinese New Year, and God pulled it through in record time. Now, our LOA is right before the May holidays in China....and He did it again! WHAT AN AWESOME GOD WE SERVE!

Today at 2:45 p.m., after I had pretty much given up, we got the phone call that Vicki, the IA Director at Heritage was holding OUR LOA!!!! I told you our agency rocks!!

God is so good! After all my whining, and dragging myself to prayer group last night, he showed me AGAIN...HE IS GOD!!!!!!!! DAY 73!!!!! It was probably mailed out from China on day 68.

Yikes!! I have so much to do. We hope to get TA my mid May and head to China for Kai & Scott's birthday!!!

Thank you to all of you that held us in your prayers, I know that it is because of those prayers that God answered.

Anna Grace, baby. You're coming home! We love you so much. Hang in there just a little bit longer, sweetie.

Orphans of God

Not sure if you noticed or not, but my blog has changed it a bit. Well, it was accidental. I decided I would explore what the CUSTOMIZE button was for. Oh yea, it warned me that I would lose everything that wasn't on my original template, but I was feeling daring. Needless to say, 4 hours later, I got it back up to some semblance of what it used to be. UGH! What a mission for this blogging newbie.

I was still in "mope mode" tonight when my sister came by to visit the boys. She leads a local prayer group at our church called "Jacob's well". She asked me to attend tonight. My first thought was, "Naaah....I'm not in the mood". But then after some coaxing and realizing that I needed SOMETHING, I decided to go.

I'm so glad I did. The Lord truly quenched my thirst at the "well" tonight. God always gives me that "kick in the butt" to make me realize that life doesn't revolve around what I want all the time. Yes, I desperately wanted that phone call today, but I needed Him more than anything else. It was a very powerful night. I walked away feeling Spirit filled and so thankful for all of the blessings that I do have.

In closing, a beautiful song was played. One I had never heard. It's called ORPHANS OF GOD by Avalon. I will leave you with the lyrics, but please, take a moment and scroll down to the bottom of the page to listen to the song and watch the video.

I know that our precious angel waiting in China is being watched over by our Lord and His blessed Mother. She is protected and loved. God has kept his promise and through this song reminded me that indeed "there are no orphans of God". "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18

Orphans of God

Who here among us
Has not been broken
Who here among us
Is without guilt or pain
So oft' abandoned
By our transgressions
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

(CHORUS)
There are no strangers
There are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen
But, Hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Come the unwanted
And find affection
Come all ye weary
Come and lay down your head
Come ye unworthy
You are my brother
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

(CHORUS)
There are no strangers
There are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen
But, Hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Oh Blessed Father
Look down upon us
We are your children
We need your love
We're out before
Your throne of mercy
And seek your face
To rise above

(CHORUS)

No matter where I go or who I meet,
I find we as human beings are all the same.
We all want to be loved and accepted no matter what.
Only God, our father is truly capable of that kind of love all the time.
What comfort we can find in knowing that we are all
His children no matter where we come from or what we've done.

A simple gift

This amazing organization was there for us while we were revieweing Anna Grace's medical. Our doctor wanted further information and they were able to provide us with that.

A few weeks ago, our son's orpahange yahoo group received word that his orphanage had cleft babies starving to death because they did not have cleft bottles. We contacted Love Without Boundaries, and within days, a case of cleft bottles with instructions was delievered to the orphanage. Every cent donated to this organization goes to assisting the orphans in China. There are worldwide volunteers working for LWB whose love for these children have allowed this organization to blossom into what it is today.

My lifelong dream would be to one day be able to go to their medical page and just click, click, click and pay for every single one of those babies needing life saving surgeries.

If we lived in a perfect world, each child would have a forever family and there wouldn't be any orphanages. But since that is not a reality, would you please consider sponsoring one of these beautiful children who may never know what a real family is like....or making a one time donation? God will bless you tenfold, and the joy that you will bring to a child, the change you will make in his or her life, will be something that could never be repaid. Your gift, whatever size, could make the difference of whether a child lives or dies.

"It has become more and more clear to all of us at Love Without Boundaries that we have a clear mission: to heal children and to let them know love. Adoption to us is the ultimate joy, because every child deserves a family. But for those who have special needs that may delay adoption or even make it impossible to find a forever family, we believe that foster care is the answer. We believe every child on this earth deserves to know what it is like to belong."

- Love Without Boundaries.

If you aren't financially able to assist, can you please pray for these babies and children....especially the ones left behind. Thank you and God bless!

Things that make you go...HMMMM!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

This is pretty neat. It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 ....If you haven't, add 1756.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.


You should have a three digit number now.


The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

Cool, huh? This is what I've been doing with my time while I sit here waiting for the phone to ring. I know. Sad.

God DOES answer prayers!!!!!

First, let me say a huge thank you to all of the prayer warriors who joined in and stormed the gates of Heaven with their prayers. Do you remember when I asked for special prayer requests for Shelley? If not.....click here.

God knew her heart and answered her prayers. Here is the email I just received from her:

"So here it is, without further adieu, we got the call today, WE ARE TOTALLY APPROVED TO CONTINUE OUR ADOPTION WITH CHINA……………. Thank you so much for all of the prayers, I know that there were many. I’m still numb, but feel as though I took a million tranquilizers……..

As for which group we will be in, who cares………………… once I thought I would, and there still may be a chance to remain with our group, so we will just have to see….. MY LOVE TO YOU ALL FOR KEEPING UP THE PRAYERS……….THEY TOTALLY WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

God is so good! Just when you start thinking He's on vacation....He shows us He's hard at work! Thank you, Jesus!!!!!!!!

Pffftttt....dreams!

Well, it is quite obvious, from the lack of screams heard across the nation, that we did not receive that much awaited phone call. So much for counting on my dreams, unless of course it was MAILED OUT on day 68. Ahhh..yes, the eternal optimist.

Actually, I'm pretty bummed, but am ok with it. I guess I have no choice. I am still hoping that it arrive sometime this week, but with a few TAs coming in yesterday, I don't think LOAs will arrive at all this week.

What does this all mean? Well, if we get it towards the end of the week after the May holidays, we're looking for it to then arrive somewhere around May 10th or 11th. Then we have to wait for TA, which is taking about 21 days to arrive, and then we should expect to leave probably the week after that. So, we're hoping for the 1st or 2nd week in June now till we hold our baby girl. At this rate, it feels like she's never gonna be home. ::SIGH::

Who's Counting?

Well, day 68 was really yesterday, Sunday, but since I know packages weren't going to be delivered yesterday, today is the day. Again, chances are so improbable that we will hear from our agency on only day 68 (69) but, I keep telling myself that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!

It has been a waaaaay hectic past few days. Starting with Thursday night. My sister, Kai and I had the pleasure of having dinner with a family that has not one...but TWO beautiful Hefei girls! Alanna & her sister, Leah, were the sweetest things.

Kai and I arrived first, and when Jodi walked in with her kids, Kai immediately went up to little Leah, who was so sweet with him and cuddled up right to her. Definitely a ladies' man! As we were being led to the table, he turned and grabbed her hand and they both walked hand in hand to the table. Just too cute! I am praying he reacts the same with Anna Grace. We'll see!

Our Kai had not napped and was NON-STOP energy at the restaurant. My sister was my saving grace. She kept him entertained so that the girls' Mama and I could chit-chat a bit. Jodi, thanks for meeting up with us. We really enjoyed spending some time with your beautiful girls and your handsome son. It's great to know that Anna Grace will have Hefei sisters close by. :) Both Ily and I left there sighing and thinking...."now we REALLY we want our little girls".

Here are some pictures of that evening.

For now, I am going to be hanging out next to the phone hoping that it's a call from our agency. By the way, it doesn't have to be today (according to the rules in my mind), any day this week will make me happier than a pig in mud! Please keep those prayers coming, my friends.

Our Agency Rocks!!!!!!!

I have been wanting to take a moment to give huge kudos to our agency, the waiting child coordinator, and the Director of International Adoptions at Heritage Adoption Services.

As many of you know, we were very happy with our previous agency and were a bit bummed that we could not petition for a child from their lists when we felt that tugging at our hearts the 2nd time around. When we found Anna Grace, I had never heard of Heritage, but we knew we had to go with wherever our daughter was. Although we were positive Anna Grace was our daughter, when it came to the agency, I was preparing myself for disappointment.

Well, I can't sing their praises enough. I have yet to encounter anyone who has had a negative experience with them. They respond to emails and phone calls very efficiently. They are honest about their answers and do not feed into rumors. They give best and worst case scenarios (a biggie for me) and have gone over and beyond when needed (such as the tale of the FedEx package!). Their hearts are truly in it for the children and there are no hidden fees. Their time frames are some of the best that I've seen. And most importantly, their rapport with CCAA is great. They should be very proud. CCAA has named Heritage Adoption Services as one of the 25 top agencies for 2006! That is a huge honor!

I cannot wait to travel to China, obviously to bring our daughter home, but also to experience their incountry staff. I definitely give them two thumbs up because they are truly deserving of it.

Hooray for Heritage Adoption Services and thank you for making my life as easy as it could possibly be amongst the turmoil that comes with international adoptions.

Praise God from whom all good things come!

No, it's not our LOA, but it's a pretty close 2nd! :)

Anna Grace is getting her "FedEx" package! Yes! This morning I received a phone call that her package was released by customs and should be delivered tomorrow. I just felt in my heart that something was going to happen. Every time I tried to let it go....it would always bounce back. I even dragged my feet on putting another package together for our sweet friend, April, to take to her. April, now you can just take lots of love and kisses from her Mama & Baba...and it takes up less room in your luggage. :) We love you!

I am so very happy today! I am going to be spending the next few days dreaming about her foster Mama reading her our letter while Anna Grace snuggles up to her "perfect little dolly", as she munches on her goodies. Now if we could only get our LOA next week, that would just be icing on the cake!

Thank you, Lord. We give you ALL the glory for this!

Getting ready for a little girl!

Dreams

It seems like many times throughout my life, God has given me "messages" through my dreams. When we were desperately awaiting some serious test results for Kai after bringing him home, I'd jump at every phone call thinking it was the drs. office. I distinctly remember the Friday before the call having a dream where our priest, of all people, came to me and said, "Ohilda, don't worry. The results are negative, but you won't hear until Monday afternoon." Sure enough....Monday at 4:35 p.m., we received the phone call from his doctor saying all of the tests had come back negative.

Another instance is the night before we received TA for Kai, I had an AMAZING dream! For the first time in 29 months that we had been waiting to adopt, I had awoke with a EUPHORIC feeling!! I dreamed that Scott and I were on the plane to bring Kai home and I kept saying over and over "Oh my God, I can't believe it's finally happening! We're REALLY getting our son!" It was so real I woke up with tears in my eyes and I immediately said to Scott, "TA's are coming!!" Well, that same morning, we got an email from our agency that our TA was on the way!

Now moving on to Anna Grace, on day 35 of the wait, I dreamed that our WC coordinator called and told me that she had our LOA in front of her. I remember saying to her, "Are you sure you're calling Ohilda? We're only on day 35." She then responded with, "I know, I was quite surprised, but yes...your LOA is in my hands!" I woke up and waited all day for the phone to ring....nothing. The next day, in the midst of Kai's speech evaluation, the phone rings. I look at the caller ID and it's our agency. I excuse myself and RUN to the phone and pick it up. The first thing I hear is, "Before you go nuts, I don't have your LOA or your TA. BUT...something did come transcontinental from China for you! You official LID paper." heh!! I had to laugh. After I caught my breath, I thought, "Hey, my dream was pretty close, except for a couple of letters in the acronym."

And lastly, the night after that dream on day 36 (this is the one I am banking on to be a slam dunk!!!), I had another dream. This one, I was at the airport in China and the Chinese lady at the counter said to me in broken English, "You see, you weren't supposed to be receiving your LOA then, it's because you will get it on day 68!" And then she handed me a little yellow card with the number 68 written in bold black writing on it. I woke up and a few minutes later I was counting days on the calendar. That happened on day 36 ( the day before AJ's birthday!)...so day 68 is April 22, my Mom's anniversary. It is a Sunday, but Monday in China! If my dream is right, we should be finding out that our LOA is on it's way or arrived on that date! So, come on number 68!!!!!!!

Brokeness

It's not very often that it happens, thank the Lord, but sometimes when life is just too much, I tend to fall apart. I know that's when Jesus REALLY wants us. This morning was one of those tough days. I received ANOTHER call from FedEx, they're still trying to negotitate the delivery of the package. Then, I came to read emails and I had so many prayer requests, many for children. Some who had passed on, others on the brink, and some who have had tragic accidents. I read daily about the issues of so many women dealing with infertility and their desperate wanting of a child to love and nurture, when there are so many abandoned children all over the world. It breaks my heart. Finally, thoughts about the magnitude of the loss of lives in Virginia came flooding in. It got to a point that it truly was too much. The boys were down for their nap and I went into our bedroom and kneeled before the crucifix. I meditated on the passion of our Savior. He gave it all for us, and yet there is so much evil and tragedy in the world. I finally reached a point of "brokeness" and was able to give it all to him. I cried, prayed, pleaded and then just sat in the stillness. Peace filled my heart and I knew the Lord was ever-present with me. He is in control of everything. He allows what happens in this world, because He doesn't want to impose himself on us. He is a true gentleman. He wants our love and our lives more than anything else in the world, yet He doesn't force himself upon us.

When I received that email the other day about prayer being superficial, I think it really was meant to be for me, although it was sent out as a devotional for many people. It spoke to my heart and I was able this morning to go beyond the surface and spend that much needed one-on-one time with Christ. I feel so much better now! I've given it all to him. All of the prayer requests, all of my pain and the pain of those suffering due to the many issues they are facing in their lives. He listens, answers and indeed fixes broken people. Thank you Lord for being in my life and for always letting me feel your love and that I could go to you in moments of despair.

I am so thankful for the friendships that I have made through this journey. I know that you are there for me when I am feeling down in the dumps and am overwhelmed, as I was this morning. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support, love and friendships. Your positive thoughts and prayers are definitely felt and your emails give me that lift that keeps me going.

I am getting so anxious as we approach the final days of April and I wait for that elusive LOA. As blessed as we have been to receive so many pictures of our beautiful baby girl, it makes it even harder some times. There are few moments during my day that something doesn't remind me of Anna Grace. I already love her so very much and my heart keeps telling me she needs her Mommy.

Finally feeling peace. Have a blessed day everyone.

Prayers being lifted....

for all of the families and victims of the horrific tragedy that occurred at Virginia Tech today. May the Lord fill the families' hearts with peace knowing that their children, brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers are being held in the arms of our Savior.

There is nothing that could be said that could even try to make any sense of today's events.

Thoughts and rambles.

It was a wet, rainy day in SW Florida today. But, I loved it. The rain now always reminds me of Kai and I love peering out the window and seeing thousands of raindrops pouring down from the sky. It's calming to me.

A friend sent an email today and had this line in it: "Freedom comes when prayer is no longer superficial." It really made me stop and think. Wow! What a true statement! Many times we pray, or let me clarify that....I pray, and I feel like I'm going thru the motions. But, when my heart is really in it, and the power of the Holy Spirit fills my innermost being, I really do sense that "freedom". What a gift!

I had quite a few email exchanges today with a new "friend" I have made in FedEx. This time, she is the China representative for the courier giant. They are insistent on my sending a copy of my passport to the Chinese custom officials in order to verify that I am indeed who I say I am and that I am the shipper of the package. I tried to let the whole ordeal go, but I received an email (this one directly from China) requesting it. Although I truly want to "let it go", part of me keeps thinking that there is hope and that the original package may yet make it to Anna Grace, but I am so very scared of faxing, of all things, a copy of my passport across the world to truly some unknown person. Scott is really against it and I should learn by now to listen to him. His last words to me this evening when I was pushing for his approval (although it is not something I need, but want) were "Ohilda, do whatever you want!" I guess I will pray on it and see what comes of it. I have dragged my feet in putting the new package together, not sure why. I'm sad the first one didn't make it and maybe I feel in my heart there is still hope. Has anyone out there dealt with FedEx and international shipping? Have you ever had to fax your passport as proof of identification? If so, can you email me privately?

Let's see....what else. Ahhh, I wanted to share that Adam (my middle son) and I went to the movies yesterday. It was nice spending one-on-one time with him. We haven't done that in a long time. Anyways, we saw Perfect Stranger. I absolutely LOVED it! I totally and completely recommend it and am gonna drag Scott to see it with me as soon as I find someone ::hint hint Ayi or PoPo:: to watch the kids for us. Definitely a MUST SEE!

Lastly, I was looking at the calendar. The first week in May is the Labour Day Holiday in China. Therefore, CCAA will be closed and all adoption paperwork will cease for that week. So, what does this mean for us? It means that if we do not receive our LOA in April, we won't be receiving anything until AT LEAST mid May, then add another 3-4 weeks in waiting for our travel approval, we're in mid-June. Then another week or so in making final travel arrangements. We probably won't be in China until the end of June. ::big sigh:: I am trying hard to remain optimistic that we will receive our LOA in April (which is possible, because others have received it around day 75) which makes it the 29th of April. Oh dear Lord, PLEASE let it be your will that we receive our LOA in April. PLLEEEEEEAAASE!!!!!!

Enjoying Florida weather!

Hopes & Dreams....as we wait on day 60!

Looking at the good...and the bad.

A friend suggested I call FedEx to find out if we can get the box back. Well, I did, and of course, they said...."Sure! For another $75.00!!" UGH! So, we've decided that they can keep the box and do whatever with it.

On a happier note, God always provides. During the process of Anna Grace's adoption, I met (online) a wonderful family who I think you've heard me mention that they are adopting an adorable little guy from the same SWI that Anna Grace is in. I fell head over heels for this little guy when we first started looking at waiting child list, but he was a bit older than we were planning to adopt. I have been praying for him for so long and now he will be going home really soon to the best Mama and Daddy that God could find and I know he will be smothered in endless love.

I have totally digressed from why I said that "God always provides". It's because April, Aiden's Mama, has offered to take a new birthday package for us when she travels in 3-4 weeks. I can't thank her enough for in fact, putting a smile on our sweeties face. Friends really are "Angels on Earth!" Thank you so very much, April! MMMWAAAHHH!!!!!!! You are a real friend.

Lastly, I just have to share this morning's conversation with Scott. My sweet husband, who can't stand seeing me so depressed, said to me today, "Honey, look at it this way. God had a reason for that box not getting to Anna Grace. You never know, maybe the customs officials decided to throw out the entire box and while it was sitting in a big garbage hopper in the back of the building, some poor Chinese man who was cleaning the alley noticed the box. He then opened it up and found there were goodies and a dolly inside. He was so excited that he dropped everything and rushed home to find a sweet little girl sitting in his living room. This little girl has never had a dolly and she has never tasted a cookie. Her Baba joyfully gave it to her and said, "Look what God sent from Heaven just for you!" Just think, not only did you do God's will by providing a child with gifts she may never have received, but you made a little girl in China very, very happy, honey!"

So, Babe, you are absolutely right! Thank you for letting me see another side to the story. You are an amazing husband and I am praying that you are right. Now, with a smile in my heart that we did something good for a complete stranger, I will go make your boys' lunch and be thankful that we are blessed enough to shower our Anna Grace with many goodies and dollys when she comes home! I love you!

So sad!

This morning I awoke and saw that my package is still at the customs office. I am so sad. After speaking to the FedEx office again, I was told that they now want a copy of my passport. For some reason, at this point, I am uncomfortable doing this. I just don't understand why a small family album, a doll, and some cookies and candy would be such a big deal going to a little girl in an orphanage.

I know Anna Grace has no idea that it was even on the way, but I feel so helpless. It sucks. I was hoping that the contents of the package would make her feel loved and put a smile on her face, instead. it's made the wait even harder for me and she got nothing. Not to mention the money spent and lost!