Auld Lang Syne

Tonight, I sit here reflecting on this passing year. As we quickly approach the closing of 2006 and start heading towards the wide-open doors of 2007, my thoughts turn to how much this year has changed our lives. Not only with the boys, but also with our older children, my marriage, family and friends. The words I began our original family site, Formed By Love, with still ring true..."my heart swells with so much love and pride, I think it would burst...." Yet, here I am, three years later, with a heart filled to overflowing with two more precious additions.

The past 3 years' New Years celebrations have been bittersweet because each year I thought "this is the year. This will be the one where we will bring home our child." Yet, it wasn't. 2006 is so different! Yes, we still have a daughter to bring home, but we have so very much to be thankful for this year.

Reflecting on my marriage and my wonderful husband, there is no doubt that it has been a trying 3 years. But, I give God the glory and honor for those trials in my marriage, because He has made us stronger and binded us in Him. He is our rock and our fortress and that is how strong our marriage is...because of those trials. I remember many times when I thought Scott may be at his wits end with my anxieties about the entire process, the wait, the disappointments and the hurdles. He wasn't. He gave it to God and God gave him the grace to love me through my weak moments, which in turn, allowed me to see what an amazing man I am married to, and in return love him even more.

Our biological children, who must've thought that I have these imaginary children I keep saying will be their siblings also amaze me. Their patience and support have strengthened me and my relationship with them. Their mother's crazy repertoire of excuses about the delays finally ceased, and God's plan came to fruition. They love their baby brothers and I am so very grateful for that. They now look forward to sharing that love with a baby sister.

This year also brought much healing to our family. With the loss of my precious nephew three years ago, also came the breakdown of a very close relationship I had with my sister and her husband. There's been a lot of pain and hurt on both sides. God used Kai to mend that relationship and through His grace of forgiveness to both of us, my sister is now, again, my best friend. I have missed her so much! It is such a blessing to have our relationship intact again, and stronger than ever. I can't wait to meet their precious Isabella who should be coming home from China next year. A gift from God through that healing.

Along with healing my sister's relationship, my Mom going to China with us to bring home Kai was an amazing witness of God's works. I can't even begin to count how many times she and other family members told me I was "too old" for more kids or that I wouldn't have the patience. Many of my families' thoughts were "why do you want to add all that baggage to your life?" The end result? They LOVE my children more than I could have EVER imagined. My Mom is truly a grandmother now. Again, I am so very grateful to our Lord for that! You see, my grandmother passed away almost 5 years ago and she was everything to me. She was the definition of a grandmother. My Mom, although they have mutual love for each other, never had that relationship with my older kids. Today, with Kai, AJ and Amanda, my Mom has filled the shoes that my grandmother had with my older kids. God has given us all a second opportunity with the boys to have those relationships. She ADORES them and they love her to pieces. She is their "Po-Po" and I love her now more than ever. All this because of God's plan in her going to China with us, visiting the orphanage and seeing how much these children need love and how much love they have to give. They are His children. I think after Scott and I, she is Anna Grace's biggest cheerleader and cannot wait to go back with us to bring her home! Thank you, Jesus!

AJ's birth opened a whole new world to our heart and taught us a very valuable lesson. Our predisposed beliefs that birthmothers in the U.S. just "gave away their children" were so very wrong. God not only let us meet AJ's birth family, but we spent three days with them. We shared their pain in letting him go and learned humbleness and humility from the very people we least expected to. We have a closed adoption, but we pray daily for his birthmother's peace and are eternally grateful to God for creating AJ for us and to both AJ and Kai's birthmother for having said "yes" and given them life. The gift of joy they have allowed our family and extended family to have could never be repaid. I look forward to the day that I can share our children's stories with them and they can truly see that their birthmothers offered them a better life, out of love.

This year also brought many new "friends" into my life from all over the planet. God puts people in your path at times when you need them most, or even when they need you, although I honestly don't believe that I have much to offer anyone except prayers, support and friendship. But, His rewards are plentiful. Those friends, as I mentioned in an earlier post, have been a lifeline to me. Each one contributing their special gifts to my life. As we moved on to the process of bringing home our beautiful daughter, Anna Grace, I have met even more friends, some of whom I hope to share a lifetime of memories with since their children share the same orphanage as she does, others that I have met in person, and yet others who I know will always be in my life and whom I may never get to meet in person. I am so very thankful for those friends. Your prayers, love and support have pulled me through very dark moments and your genuine caring and friendship has made moments of elation even sweeter. You are true blessings in my life.

And lastly, I cannot close this year without thinking about and again giving God the glory for putting Anna Grace in our path. From the first moment I saw her on September 4, when I was told she wasn't available, my heart did leaps. At the time, I believed she would never be ours. Yet, here we are, through His grace, each day a bit closer to holding her.

Yes, this year has been filled with moments of sadness, hurt, anger, fear and anxiety, but I wouldn't change a thing. I praise and thank our God for all of those trials and tribulations. It is because of those moments that we have also celebrated many occasions filled with pure utter joy, bliss, happiness, peace and moments that just took our breath away. So, we are not looking back on 2006 and dwelling on what we missed. Instead, we are looking back in total awe of the blessings that have been showered upon us. We can't wait to see what God has in store for 2007!

From the entire Bombardier family, may your New Year be filled with much love, peace, health and happiness. Remember to always praise Him for the good and the bad because "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.

Have a blessed and happy New Year with much love....