Bursting with Pride!!!!!

As many of you know, our Amanda is only 12 and in the 7th grade. Well, we received an invitation from Duke University inviting Amanda to take SATs THIS YEAR!!!!! She received a PERFECT score on her FCAT (Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test)!

So, on January 27, she will be sitting amongst 11th and 12th graders taking her SAT test! Needless to say, we are so VERY proud of her!!!!!

Thank you Lord for this blessing!

Is it age...or is it adoption fever?

Oh my gosh, I feel like an idiot!!! We get TONS of junk mail, so I usually put it to the side and once a month I go through the stack to see if there is anything of interest. Most "sales" and stuff have gone by, but alas...it saves me money. :)

Anyways, this morning, I thought I would go through the stack since it was really piling up. And lo and behold, buried somewhere in between the polotical fanfare for governor pages and the Pottery Barn magazines was OUR EXEMPLIED MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE, with the envelope dated October 17. Yes, the same certificate that I have been running to the mailbox each day to see if it has arrived because besides our I-171H, it was the LAST piece of paper we needed to complete our dossier. I should get the draft of our homestudy from our SW this week. Then it all goes off to our dossier consultant for authentication in TX. We could realistically be DTC by the end of November, but ooohhh nooooo....we can't!! ::sniffle::

We have to wait until Feb. 16!!!!! WHY? RULES SUCK!! ::POUTING, STOMPING FEET::

Where do they come from?

No, not our fingerprints....the government workers hired to handle the public. Oh my Lord!!!! Yesterday we got up at 6 am and were out the door by 7 so that we could make out 11 am appt. at the Tampa USCIS office. We get there in plenty of time, at about 9:30 a.m. We wait outside in what seems to be a very short line. The entrance doors are locked. I know from previously having been there (twice too many times) that they come out and call appts. We had Kai & AJ with us. Kai was in an umbrella stroller and AJ was in a hip carrier. We stood in the hot sun for a good 1.25 hours before they called us in. As we are walking in, we get this nasty look and the security guard (officer, as he called himself) says the stroller can't come in. Mind you...Kai was asleep in it! I said, "Do you mind if we keep it in this corner?" as I pointed to a corner right by the entrance of the HUGE room where no one was even walking by or had any seats around it. He rudely looked at me and said, "Strollers can't come in!" Pffffttt!! So, I take Kai out (who now becomes grumpy) and Scott heads off with the stroller in tow back to the car to put it in the trunk. We sit in our 'assigned seats' and quietly start playing/talking to the boys to keep their minds occupied. All of the people around us were cooing AJ and playing "gimme five" with Kai. We had now been there for over 2 hours. AJ was lovin' the attention and started his baby babble. All of a sudden this nasty looking woman comes out from behind a curtain and literally YELLS into the crowd, "If you can't keep your child quiet, you must leave!" It took everything I had for me not to jump up and say, "Stupid idiot...can you see he is playing, he's freaking bored from being here for 3 hours and he's only !@#$ SEVEN MONTHS OLD!!!!" Scott saw the look on my face and said, "Ohilda...let it go!! We're almost thru this and pissing them off would be like sending food back to a chef...you can guarantee he'll spit on it!" I then sat down and asked God to give me patience. I told Kai he had to stop his game and be quiet. I had people apologizing for playing with them, which was utterly ridiculous, and to top it off, I don't know how we got AJ to stop babbling....I think I quietly pulled out a bottle and fed him in hiding under my jacket since there were signs all over that said "No food or drink". That would have for sure expelled us from their humble abode. This is our third adoption in 3 years, and it seems like the worst people to deal with are goverment workers. You know, for the money they make, and the benefits they get, not to mention the fact they are public "servants", they suck!!!! Aaahh....there I said it! I feel better. I apologize to anyone in advance who may be a government worker and does not have that type of attitude, I have obviously not had dealings with you before. In the meantime, we survived. We left there shortly after 1 pm (3 1/2 hrs after arriving), praised our boys for being so darn good and thanked God for not letting me get arrested. :) Fingerprints are checked off on the list of things to do. We are now waiting on our marriage license, homestudy, and I-171H!

Facing the Giants...and my thoughts and ramblings.

(Warning: This is quite long, so be prepared!)

OK! So, I haven't gotten over this movie yet. Scott and I took the night off from the boys and went to see it. As you guys know, this is my 2nd time, Scott's first. God is so darn good in His infinite glory. You see, Scott came home from his retreat filled with the Holy Spirit...just like I expected. By Tuesday, he was facing the true secular world. The world of impatience, rudeness, self-serving and fast-paced "I-need-it-now" world. To go back a bit, Scott was offered a promotion right after we came home with Kai. Not a whole lot of money more, but something that he knew he could handle. He felt God led him to this position. So, he took it. It turns out that this position was a newly created position....and one that, as all big corporations try and do, was a money-saving thought for the company. Tons of work & responsibilities tossed onto him, few employees to do them, and of course, always in a time crunch. Going back to this week...he was at his wits end. He shared with me how difficult it was to make things happen with only a few employees working for him, and how there was so much work, but the company was trying to save money so they were holding back on hiring more people, therefore he had to go out and do the labor work himself....many times late into the night when he wasn't being paid for it, etc. I could so hear in his voice the anxiety building up. Then he proceeded to tell me that this job was impossible for one man to handle. Well, oddly enough....and true to how our great God is, that afternoon when I had spoken to him on the phone I felt the urge to pray for him...and pray hard. I did a rosary for him and then I opened my bible. I figured I would read one of the books I've never read....so I headed to Judges. Lo and behold....God again amazed me. Judges, Chapter 6....the story of Gideon! It showed me how 1 man, with an army of 300 had victory over the armies that were so numerous that were only described in the bible as "numerous as locusts. Nor could their camels be counted, for these were as many as the sands on the seashore." Yet, with God leading Gideon, they were defeated. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!!!!

That night at dinner, I read that scripture again with Scott. I reminded him over and over that whatever he did, he was to do with the intention of giving God the glory....that's why we're here on this earth. Our reason for existence. That morning and every morning since, Scott has awakened early in the morning before anyone wakes up to spend some time alone with the Lord. Tonight, we went to see the movie. In this movie, everything he has gone through in the past few months were affirmations to him about how he should proceed. For the rest of the week, when things have gone well, he has praised God...and when it seems all hell is breaking loose, he has praised God. We left the movie theater and Scott told me how much of a difference he has seen in himself and in his work since he starting "letting go and letting God" this week. Oh yea, the problems are still there, the workload is there, and the lack of people to do the work is still there, but now it's not Scott's job....it's God's. And whatever the result, God will get the glory and the honor for it...and if things don't work out, we'll STILL praise Him! Another thing he left with from the movie is that he should start speaking His word more at work. We're not into the "politcally correct" stuff about mentioning God, etc. But, we're also not pushy about pushing Christ into people's faces.

We've made the decision that we will not be embarrassed or thinking twice about bringing God up in any part of our lives, work or play.

That brings me to something else I've been pondering lately. We all know how the internet could be a double-edged sword. It is an amazing tool where knowledge is power, but it could also wreak havoc in your life. As many of you know, my original Formed By Love website was created to follow our journey to Kai...a long almost 3 year journey. This website has become my own little oasis. I never intended it to be really followed by anyone, but after getting over 26,000 hits on my website, and almost a day that doesn't go by with someone emailing me and thanking me for being so blatantly honest about my feelings and my faith, I guess word had spread. That has been making me a bit nervous in the past few months since the boys have been home. I share a lot about my boys, my family, my children and just everyday things, as I am doing here. So, quite a few times, I thought I would password protect the site. But, I've been praying on it.... A LOT. I sometimes wonder if my friends think I'm too "preachy" or a "Holy-Roller". And here's what I have come up with. First of all...who cares what others think? Again...why are we here? Is it not to live this life to give God all the glory and honor for all that He does for us, and to show others his unconditional love? So, if I password protect it, am I not shutting out someone who may just be waiting to hear how God can change their lives? I give myself NO CREDIT for this. He keeps moving in our lives, and I just write about it. So, why would I only share it with the "safe" people I know, most of which know Christ already? My final decision is that the site will remain password free. Jesus will always be my sounding board so I will continue to use this tool he has provided me with to give Him all the glory and honor. I trust and stand firm in the belief that he will protect my family from the evils of the internet.

And lastly, (if you're not asleep), I HIGHLY (AGAIN!!!) recommend that you see this movie. It just fills you with so much hope when there is so much despair in this world. It allows you to take those heavy burdens that we carry and put them at the foot of the cross. And most of all, it opens your heart to be a disciple of God. To allow yourself to be the only Christ that someone may ever know. We serve a mighty God. I pray that each and every one of you reading this get to know him intimately and that you feel how much he truly loves you!

It's 1:30 a.m., and we have to be up at 6 am to head to Tampa to be fingerprinted. May God bless you all and may He fill your hearts with peace! Good night!

Wishing upon a star....

I came across this poem tonight and thought..."Hmmm...can it be that we get PA this week?" It's not impossible since not long ago I heard from someone who got PA in 2 weeks, but being in the adoption world for so long, I know it's not very probably. Our agency did get PAs in today...but obviously not ours. ::sniff:: Anyways, here's the little verse that got me wishin'.

Dream upon a star tonight.

Then hold it near your heart very tight,

Just make a wish that’s especially for you,

And hope that someday your wish will come true!!

Today was very productive for us and I am WIPED OUT!!!!! I took off early this morning and we headed to FedEx to send Scott's birth certificate to the Consulate General in NY for authentication. Next, we went to the photo place and Kai and I took passport pictures. That was an adventure in itself. The kid ALWAYS smiles...except when a camera is being pointed at him. Anyways, after about 9 shots, I finally said to the man, "It's fine...doesn't matter that he looks like he's gonna kill someone, I just need to get to China and back with him!" And my picture? OMG!!! I look as stressed as I felt. I woke up this morning, took a shower, put make-up on, straightened my hair...looked pretty decent and ready for a picture. By the time I got there, after spending 4 hours with these two little guys in the car, going to FedEx, going to the grocery store, and going to speech therapy, I looked like I'd been hit by a truck! And you know what? It's perfectly ok with me, because the reality is that by the end of the day...that is truly what I look like. LOL! Why hide it?

We are waiting now for our marriage license, our homestudy draft and our I171H to be DTC....in February. This Saturday, we are packing up the kids and taking the 2.5 hour drive to Tampa to be fingerprinted.

It's funny that since the boys have been home, time has just flown by! Now that we are back on the rollercoaster and waiting to go get Anna Grace, time is CRAWLING!!!! Gosh, I wish it were Easter of next year!

Ok. Enough ramblings. I'm off to bed to catch up on some much needed sleep since Mr. AJ decided he'd party last night at about 12:30 pm, and it lasted till a little after 4 am! Then, of course, Kai was right on schedule waking up at 6:30 a.m. Heaven help me when I have 3 little ones!!

Kai's palate update & Praise Report!!!

Friday was the 3 week mark appointment with Kai's surgeon. Kai's palate is 100% intact, no fistualas, no holes. The doctor said he was truly amazed at his recovery and that his palate is so perfect. I said, "I'm not! Between your gift of being a great surgeon and God's hand guiding you, how could we expect anything less?"

So, we return in 2 weeks just because he does have a few stitches that have still not dropped out, and he can go back to a normal diet, with the exception of anything crunchy, such as potato chips, cereal without milk, etc. He could have Cheerios, though! Yeeaaahh!!!

Thank you all again for your prayers. Praise God for hearing them and for healing his palate perfectly! Indeed, a day of celebration!

To see a video of the process click here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JYCvcQ6K-o

Our Pumpkins at the Pumpkin Patch!

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

The battle is on...but Jesus ALWAYS wins!

Unbelievable!!! What a spiritual battle I'm fighting today. First, I want to start off by saying that Jesus Christ IS Lord! I give him ALL of the glory and honor for everything in my life. When things are great, we praise Him! And when life sucks, we PRAISE Him! That said, I'm just going to go into this post head on with all that has transpired within the past day or two.

As most of you know, Scott is off to a 4 day Catholic retreat weekend. For those of you that don't know my wonderful husband, he's a very gentle man of honor. Very spiritual and very much loves the Lord. There is no doubt in my mind that he'll be returning from his retreat this tomorrow floating on air and filled with the Holy Spirit. Why am I telling you this? Because all of the pieces will fall into place at the end of my post.

While Scott's been gone, I've been reading the bible, praying, and doing a "family" rosary with my sister, nephew and Amanda daily. Each day that Scott's been gone, I feel myself getting closer to the Lord.

(Attack #1) I was going to post last night about some pictures I received of Anna Grace. I wrote this long post, when I was done, I clicked "publish" and all of a sudden my internet connection went down. I logged back in. My post was gone. It had not saved it. I lost the entire thing. I was pretty upset & figured, "OK, Satan...don't want Him to get the glory? I'll just rewrite it tomorrow!" This morning was pretty hectic. We took the boys to a pumpkin patch and took pictures. Kai went to a birthday party with my sister and Amanda, and I stayed home and took a much needed nap with AJ. Upon their return, my sister suggested that we all go see this fabulous movie she had seen, Facing the Giants, about a football coach who surrenders to God and allows Him to take the lead in his life. I can't even describe the feeling of awesomeness that I had for our Lord when we left the movie theatre. It made me think about how can someone not believe? That just blows me away! Then I thought, "Lord, you are so good! Satan ruined my giving you the glory last night for the pictures, so instead tonight, I've decided to make my post about total Thanksgiving for you and your daily shower of blessings, including the success of Kai's surgery & Anna Grace's updates." I was all gung-ho to come home and post away about how great He is and how if we just open our hearts to Him, he will come in like a wild fire, cleaning us out and just making our lives exactly what He wants....for His glory! But oooohhh, no! That would've been too easy. You see. Someone told me long ago that the closer you get to God, the more Satan attacks. And gosh darn it....that is so true!! We all get in the car, tears still flowing, talking about how we are going to spread the word about the movie because it just fills you with so much hope, etc.

(Attack # 2) Somehow the conversation led to something, that led to something else and Amanda made a comment about not telling her Jewish friends about the movie. I said, "Why?" She went on to explain that those were their beliefs...blah, blah, blah. I then went on to ask her, well, the bible teaches us that Christ says that we can only get to the Father through Him. (John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.") We ended up going round and round and I could just feel Satan stealing that joy from me. I was fighting hard to keep it! We got home and I went into her room and we talked a bit about how she felt. I think it's mostly teenage questioning, because (praise God!) she does very much believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The conversation was sort of left in the air when I left the room. Again, I could feel myself questioning how to proceed. The worries set in. Satan trying hard to just destroy all feelings of wanting to get on here and give God the glory for everything. Shortly afterwards, I walked back in and she was on her knees praying (with tears flowing) before a picture of The Sacred Heart of Jesus that she has in her room. I asked her to come out and do a rosary with us. Another bit of Bombardier insight....we NEVER stop doing the rosary once we have begun, regardless of whether it's a phone call, a doorbell...anything.

Tonight, (Attack # 3), as I was praying the first mystery at almost 11 pm now, the phone rings...and rings....and rings. Amanda says, "Mom, it's my Dad. He's outside waiting for me to go to the car to get my other bible. I called him before and asked him to bring it to me." What could I say at that point. All concentration was gone with the distraction of the phone call and her getting up. We all stopped while Amanda ran to answer the phone and tell him to leave it in the mailbox and she would get it after we were done with the rosary.

We completed the rosary and we all stood around our small statue of Our Lady of Lourdes that I brought home from Guangzhou during Kai's adoption, and another statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus that I have. We prayed out loud. I asked God for wisdom and guidance and for him to remove anything that was not of him from each and every one of us. Everyone went off to do their thing. I remained a few minutes longer praying. When I was done, I had remembered that we were out of milk and dog food and I needed to run to the 7-eleven. I got in the car and prayed some more. The feeling of joy was coming back. I was gathering up my thoughts that I would put down in my post as soon as I returned home.

Since, my brother-in-law also went to the same retreat as Scott, my sister and nephew have been staying at our house. They sleep in the office where I have 2 beds....AND our computers! For 2 nights now, we've been going to bed almost at 2 am. Usually after the rosary we hang out, watch tv, talk, etc.
(Attack # 4) I came home from getting milk and lo and behold....they are both sleeping. I couldn't very well go in there and turn on the light and start typing. It's almost like Satan just won't give up....but it's ok! My God is so much stronger. When He wants something done, He will make it happen!!! I was a bit angry and decided. OK! I'm not giving up either! I will WRITE on paper (you know, the old fashion way before computers) my post and just transfer it over in the morning. So, that what I did.

It has been two days of total spiritual warfare, but, as Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans, I proudly wear "The Armor of God" and I know that I'm being covered in Christ's light. He not only covers me as a shield, but fills me with His Holy Spirit. My friends, tomorrow I will again post about all that I am thankful for. Oh! And what does this have to do with Scott and the retreat? Because he is the spiritual leader in our household. Him coming home on fire for the Lord, and Amanda and I having gotten closer to the Lord all weekend, would have been a strong-wall ready to proclaim how awesome our God is! Satan figured he'd break it down, cause worries, bring in turmoil and cause arguments (with Amanda's questioning) and most of all, not allow me to post what a great God we serve. Again, his plot what failed. Indeed, what a mightly God we do serve! We can't wait to welcome Scott home and just be filled with the light that will be burning so brightly inside of him!
For tonight, I leave you with the total conviction in my heart that Jesus is Lord and that nothing, with Him, is impossible!! He is the way, the truth and the life.

May He fill your hearts with His light, His peace, and His love. By the way, when I went on to post this, I saw that "miraculously" the post about Anna Grace's pictures had reappeared. This was after having checked and gone to the site 3x earlier today. Hmmm! Goodnight all!

This is complete agony!

You know, there are times in life that you wonder why this happen the way they do. And I must say, that there is no doubt, that it's because of God's hand. How some people don't believe is just so beyond my comprehension. All you need to do is stop for a moment. Reflect upon your life. Look at all those moments in life when you were at that fork in the road. YOU didn't make that decision alone....God knew which road you'd take. Sometimes it's not the best road, but sometimes going through the bumpy, dirt paths is what cleans us up to put us back on the highway.

I've been a bit down in the dumps because of having to wait to send in our paperwork. I know that God has a purpose. Yes, China may have rules, but if it's God's will...China's rules would be out the window. I am praying that SOMETHING happen and those rules change, but in the meantime, I am prepared for the timeframe that has been placed before us. I have totally digressed. Going back to being in the dumps...it seems that everytime I am, God gives me that little morsel I need to keep me going. His plan is perfect! Well, I mentioned in my past few posts that there was a family going to Hefei SWI this week. They offered to take a picture of Anna Grace for us and to let us know how she was. I have been absorbing every word of their journey. Last night, at 1:08 a.m., I figured I'd check their website one more time to see if they were back from their orphanage visit...and oh my Lord!! When it opened up, the first thing I saw was the beautiful face of our little girl. God places angels in our paths when we need lifting, and the Hale family were those angels to us. They took many pictures of our daughter, but also took the time to write to us about her. Below is an excerpt from an email we received this morning. I read it as the tears flowed.

"We just wanted to let you know that Feng Qin is an absolute doll. Not too shy, but not running and jumping into our arms either (we had lots of that frommany of the kids), I think it is a great sign she is well adjusted and has a healthy regard for strangers. She was just beautiful. After a few minutes she warmed up to us and was willing to hold our hands and pose with us for photos. We took many....."

God answers prayers!! We have been praying daily that Anna Grace be loved and know how to love. Her "healthy regard for strangers" is definitely a good indication of that. We are so very blessed. Thank you, Lord for continuing to watch over our adoption process, our little girl and our family. We give you all the glory because it is through You that we were led to this precious child! I know that your timing is perfect and I pray for patience and peace as we wait for the day when we can actually hold her in our arms.

To the Hale family: Again, we are eternally grateful for your kindness in taking the time from your own very special journey to bring us this update and take pictures of our precious angel. We never had the opportunity to get any updates prior to bringing home our son, Kai, so this means the world to us. God bless you!!!!

Now, C'mon PA!!!! I want to plaster our beautiful girl's pictures all over so that everyone can ooooohhhhh and aaaaaahhhh!!!

Light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes, we're getting close to the end of the paperchase. Today we had our 2nd homestudy visit. Our VERY LAID BACK social worker went through the same hum drum stuff we've done already four times, we chit-chatted a bit, and he was on his way. This guy has been to our house more times in the past year than I think my oldest son has! Heh! One more visit and he we will be all done with our homestudy. Wooohooo!!!

And, to add to our festive day in the adoption paperworld, I anxiously went to the mailbox to see if there was anything from Homeland Security/USCIS. Lo and behold! There it was! Our fingerprint appointment letter. We are scheduled to be in Tampa on Tuesday, yes...THIS Tuesday the 24th, at 8 am! I must say that the Tampa office ROCKS! I just sent in our I-600A less than a week ago, and we already have our appt. At this rate, we'll have all of our paperwork done and ready to go before Thanksgiving. Gosh, I know you guys have heard this before but it makes me so sad thinking that I could be DTC in early December, and we have to wait an additional 2 months just having the papers sit. If they allowed us to send in our dossier as soon as it was done, Anna Grace's Gotcha Day could be the same as Kai's special day. Spring in China was beautiful and we have learned so much from the last trip about not overpacking, that I think it will be a breeze this time. I think that if we weren't taking Kai, Scott and I might even be adventurous enough to go COO (carry-on-only) and buy whatever we needed in China.

I will keep you posted, but things are moving very smoothly. Thank you, Jesus!!!! Now if you get just get CCAA to say we could send our dossier in, I would be forever grateful. :) Ok, Lord...just kidding!! I am forever grateful and I will stop telling you how to do your job!

Kai butts into Anna Grace's territory!

I know this is Anna Grace's blog, BUT....I think the whole world has been praying for our little Kai's recovery from his palate surgery during the past 3 weeks. So, I thought I would also post here. I have gotten several emails asking about the results of the magic date, which was supposed to be today - TWENTY-ONE days from the date of surgery. And yes, today was supposed to be our cork-popping, champagne pouring, dancing in the streets day while we yelled from the rooftops that Kai has received the all clear and that his palate is fully intact. Well, unfortunately, the doctor had an emergency and Kai's last appointment has been postponed until Friday, the 20th! UGH!!!!!

To my naked, totally unprofessional eye, it looks good....but please don't go by me. If I can ask you all to please pray for another 4 days, it would be soooo greatly appreciated.

Otherwise, he is back to his old self. We went to the social security office today (I left AJ at home), and Kai was the "entertainment" for the two hour wait. This child's charisma and charm is just amazing. And I think I can say it proudly since it truly has NOTHING to do with me genetically. He had about 30 people singing his favorite Barney tune. You know, the one he had us do about 40 times prior to the surgery...."I love you, you love me. We're a happy family!...lalalala" Ok. I'll spare you. :) All this while he danced to the singing. I so wished I had a video camera. And if someone stopped singing or wasn't singing, he'd go (all 31" of him) and stand in front of them and dance while he "signed" the word for sing. His spirit is amazing, and the fact that his vocabulary is probably 3-4 words, yet can move mountains is even more amazing. God is so great! So, please stay tuned, I will be sure to post when we can truly "pop that cork!"

All is quiet...

in the Anna Grace arena. I have our financial statement to finish and waiting for our fingerprint date, along with the completion of our homestudy...that's it! After that, we can submit our dossier for certification and then on to the Chinese consulate for authentication. Then it will sit at our agency's office until Feb. 16, the anniversary of the date our TA (travel approval) was signed for Kai. China's rules are that they will not accept our dossier prior to that anniversary. ::big sigh::

I am pretty anxious for this week to go by. There is a wonderful family that will be visiting Hefei this week and have promised to try and get us updated pictures and/or information on Anna Grace. I cannot wait to actually speak to someone who has REALLY seen her. I daydream all the time about what she will be like. Will she be a quiet little girl, or rambunctious like her brothers. Will she be a Mama's girl..or Daddy's little girl. Will she buddy-up with Kai or will there be constant sibling rivalry? So many thoughts cross my mind each day.

We have approximately 7-8 months before we can hold her. It kills me that we will have our paperwork all done and it can't go anywhere for nearly 3 months. I am hoping to be in China for Kai & Scott's birthday, May 27! For now, we continue to pray that she can somehow feel the love we have for her and that the Lord keep her protected and secure until we can bring her home.

The Paper Pregnancy

Aahh, yes, like labor pains, I had forgotten the agony of the paperchase. But, again, like labor pains, once you start, the memories come flooding back.

We are preparing for our social worker's visit, along with collecting documents for our dossier. For those of you not sure what a "dossier" is, well, it's pretty much a collection of your entire life...on paper. We need to have completed autobiographies, physical exams (including blood tests), be fingerprinted, track down birth certificates, marriage certificates, divorce decrees, financial statements, references, legal agreements, background checks, child abuse checks, employment letters, letter to the China Center of Adoption Affairs requesting to adopt and lots more. Once all of this is compiled, it is a called a dossier. These pages need to be notarized, then certified by the Secretary of State, and then authenticated by the Chinese consulate.

I first looked at the long list of "to do's" and felt like crying, but I knew that staring at it wouldn't get it done and we want Anna Grace to come home NOW! So, we've jumped in with both feet. I'm handling most of the paperwork and Scott is making sure he takes care of the stuff that I can't do for him, such as HIS blood test. :)

Today we are sending out our I-600A form to Immigration, minus the homestudy report. The State of Florida is pretty good about getting out fingerprint appointments rather quickly after receiving the I-600A. The only inconvenience is that we have to drive 2 hours to Tampa to get them done. But, again, you do what you gotta do. We know that with each piece of paper added to the "completed" stack, we are one step closer to bringing our baby girl home.

Happy 18 months, Baby Girl!

Today, our precious Anna Grace is turning 18 months old! I know that last night we blew her kisses in the wind and sent her our wishes, but I wanted to wish her a very special 18th month day. God willing, we will be blessed with a family who will be hopefully seeing her on the 17th of this month, and taking pictures for us and letting us know how she is doing. The few pictures I have, I stare at 1,000 times a day. There are a couple in which she has very "sad" eyes and it breaks my heart. But deep in those sad eyes, you can see a beautiful soul. Anna Grace, Mommy loves you as much as the whole wide world and back again. I'm counting the days down until I can hold you and you will never again have to spend another birthday or milestone alone....EVER!

In celebration of the Autumn Moon Festival and our LOI heading to China...

we bought Anna Grace's ladybug crib set!

Tonight, we also gathered as a family to celebrate the Chinese tradition of the Moon Festival by eating Chinese food and then going outside and wishing upon the brightest moon of the year. We stood, one by one, blowing kisses into the wind to Anna Grace and wishing that she could feel the love that we have for her. It was a very poignant moment as we celebrated our first traditional Chinese event with our child at home, yet bittersweet because we still have a little one half a world away.

We are thrilled that our LOI (letter of intent) headed to China today. We hope to receive our PA (pre-approval) within the next 4-6 weeks! This will be a Moon Festival we will never forget.

Who? What? Where? When?

Since I started the blog for Anna Grace, I have received numerous emails from people pretty surprised that we are again starting our journey so soon. Along with the emails, there's lots of questions. Were you planning it? Was it another "God" incidence like with the boys? When did this all happen? And so on.

So, since you've asked, I figured I would respond on here and that way EVERYONE could get the whole story. When we came home with Kai, there were some issues with his blood tests that made us very nervous. I prayed, along with many prayer warriors, that the subsequent tests would all come back negative. At that point, Scott and I had both decided that with two boys (coming to us at once) we were done. Factory closed. Potato chip bag empty.

I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my life during that long wait for the test results. I should know better than to try and negotiate with God, but my human side always seems to jump in. One of my "deals" with him was that if his tests came back negative, I would (as if Scott had no say in it..hahaha!) go back to China for another child. And it would definitely be another waiting child (special needs). Well, Praise God, the tests did come back negative. So, I was faced with telling Scott that we HAD to go back to China. How can I not keep my promise to God? This occured on May 22. I started hinting shortly thereafter, and as I think all husbands must do, he told me "Nope. We're done!" or "why are you doing this to me? You wanted one...we now have two! And you want a third? We had a deal!" As in the other two adoptions, I kept praying on it. I wanted to make 100% sure that this was God's idea and not mine. And again, as in the other two adoptions, during and after prayer, God would fill be with peace and the feeling of "leave this to me, I am in control." One night, I pretty much lost it. I had a pretty serious talk with Scott and said, "You see. I made God this promise while we were waiting for Kai's tests back. And YOU are preventing me from keeping my promise! At least I hope that God sees that my heart is open to it." Scott said nothing. Two days went by. I vigilently scoured over waiting child lists and continued to pray. A week later, Scott went to a new prayer group that had formed at church. He came back and said he really enjoyed it, but didn't elaborate much on it. This was the week before 4th of July weekend. In the meantime, I kept praying and God kept telling me to shut up and let him work.

Fourth of July weekend we took off to Ft. Myers beach with the entire family for a fun-filled four days of beach and sunshine. There was a running joke about us going back to China for a girl during the weekend and I just smiled as I got the "look" from Scott when he was being told about going back. On our third day there, a friend of my sister's took a newspaper that had an article about a family who had adopted from China. I remember it as if it were yesterday. We were in the hotel room and Scott was laying down next to Kai on one end of the bed, AJ was in the middle and I was reading the article. I said, "Look! How cool would it have been to tour here." as I showed him some pictures of China, and he said, "Maybe we can go there when we pick up our little girl." I heard him, but it was almost like I didn't hear him. I was awestruck. He said, "Did you hear me?" I said..."Yes!!!!" But then reality hit. OMG! THREE KIDS!!!! Are we crazy? I asked him what and when did he change his mind. He said there wasn't any particular moment, but that he had been praying on it and that God had opened his heart up to another child. He was ready.

Wow! So, I took his words to heart and seriously poured over the lists. We discussed the many special needs we would accept. It seemed, unbelievably, that it was so hard to find a little girl between the age of Kai and AJ with a special need we could manage (and trust me, our list was quite extensive). On September 4, 2006, which by the way was the birthdate of our very first referral for our little boy in Belarus, I came across a beautiful little girl on the list of an agency that I had not heard too much about. So, I emailed the agency and asked them if I could review her medical info. Two days later, I got this email back:

"Hi Ohilda,Thank you for your inquirey on little Qin. She is just darling. As of this weekend, we have at least 6 families seriously interested inpursuing her adoption. I believe her forever family is very near.We would love to work with you in the future."

So, I was bummed, but sort of expected it. She was beautiful, young, and clearly....too good to be true. But, as we all know, with God nothing is impossible. On Wednesday, September 13, almost 10 days later, I got home around 5 pm and had this email in my inbox:

"Hi Ohilda,I tried to phone you today, but couldn't get through. Qin is available and I wanted to speak with you to see if you might still be interested. You can be DTC on the anniversary of the date that your last travel approval was signed. My guess is that you are just fine to submit an LOI for Qin. I'm attaching Qin's medical for your review."

I was pretty shocked to say the least, and the first thought through my mind was that something was terribly wrong with her, although it was listed as her special needs being sooooo manageable. I pick up the phone and call the agency. They tell me that the family that was reviewing the file was a NSN family and when they inquired about her SNs and that she may need a possible surgery, they changed their minds. So, I said..."How about the other 5 families?" I could understand 1 or 2, but 6? The woman on the other end responded with, "I'm not sure what happened, but it seems that every single one of those families had a circumstance that they could not adopt right now!"

That was ALL GOD to me! He cleared six families out of the way to lead us to our daughter. So, we took the baton and ran. We started calling doctors, doing research, and speaking to families that had dealt with this SN.....which was amazing to us since it really IS no big deal. She is perfectly healthy and beautiful to boot! So, the next night at about 11 PM we finished up the last of the paperwork to petition for her and faxed it over to the agency. On Friday, September 15, at 12:54 PM, I received an email saying that she was ours!!!!

That's the whole story! I had been praying for God to open doors and make it really obvious when it was our child....and once again, he hits us like a lightning bolt. :)

I "Vant" to take your blood!

Today I went the doctor to get the physical done for Anna Grace. I was fortunate enough that I had not eaten, so I was able to go to have the blood work done right after the physical.

Scott on the other hand, could not contain himself from putting something in his mouth (although I must say in his defense that his appt. was at 3:30 p.m.) and will have to go back tomorrow for his blood tests. One step down...and about 20 more to go!

Tomorrow I head to the Sherrif's office to do our local background check.

Hang in there, baby girl...your Mama is trying to get through this as fast as we can to bring you home. :)

For your viewing pleasure: Cuteness Galore!

And we're off.....

YES! The paperchase has started! We're off and running. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that we will be done before we can send our dossier to China and it will just sit, but that's ok, it'll be one less thing to worry about. Our new agency (which by the way has been fantastic!) said we are allowed to send in our dossier on the anniversary of the date our TA was signed, which is February 16.

Scott and I have set our doctor's appointments for our medicals. We'll be going on Thursday (the 5th) for the physical and doing all of our bloodwork, etc. on Friday. Ahhh...yes, it seems just like yesterday we going through the same thing. And I will try and get to the Sherrif's office to do our background check sometime this week, also. The only difference with us putting this dossier together compared to the other 3 times, is that this time, I will savor every moment of the
journey, because I know it will be the last one. ::sniff::

We're back on the rollercoaster!

Yes, indeed! We are one of those families that said "Oh, we're done!" with our last adoption. Yeah right! We have fallen madly in love with a beautiful waiting child we have named Anna Grace FengQin Bombardier. She is presently 17 months and waiting for us at Hefei SWI in Anhui, China. Our LOI (letter of intent) went off to our agency on Saturday, the 30th of September. It is taking approximately 6 weeks to receive PA (pre-approval) from China. So, we're hoping that by Thanksgiving, the Chinese government will have given their approval for us to bring her home. The paperchase has started again and we're hoping to travel by May 2007!

Due to the fact that she is not "officially" ours yet (although our hearts know otherwise) we cannot post pictures of her beautiful, little face. BUT...as soon as that PA arrives, be prepared because the world will be staring at the most precious little girl in China.

Since our website http://www.formedbylove.com has gotten to be quite voluminous, I have decided to give Anna Grace her own space and will be blogging instead. Hopefully this will work out. It also allows for readers to leave comments, which I love receiving and it doesn't fill up my email. :)

So, please, join us in our journey back to China as we bring home a little Mei Mei to Kai and the rest of the kids, and a Jie Jie to our precious AJ.