The battle is on...but Jesus ALWAYS wins!

Unbelievable!!! What a spiritual battle I'm fighting today. First, I want to start off by saying that Jesus Christ IS Lord! I give him ALL of the glory and honor for everything in my life. When things are great, we praise Him! And when life sucks, we PRAISE Him! That said, I'm just going to go into this post head on with all that has transpired within the past day or two.

As most of you know, Scott is off to a 4 day Catholic retreat weekend. For those of you that don't know my wonderful husband, he's a very gentle man of honor. Very spiritual and very much loves the Lord. There is no doubt in my mind that he'll be returning from his retreat this tomorrow floating on air and filled with the Holy Spirit. Why am I telling you this? Because all of the pieces will fall into place at the end of my post.

While Scott's been gone, I've been reading the bible, praying, and doing a "family" rosary with my sister, nephew and Amanda daily. Each day that Scott's been gone, I feel myself getting closer to the Lord.

(Attack #1) I was going to post last night about some pictures I received of Anna Grace. I wrote this long post, when I was done, I clicked "publish" and all of a sudden my internet connection went down. I logged back in. My post was gone. It had not saved it. I lost the entire thing. I was pretty upset & figured, "OK, Satan...don't want Him to get the glory? I'll just rewrite it tomorrow!" This morning was pretty hectic. We took the boys to a pumpkin patch and took pictures. Kai went to a birthday party with my sister and Amanda, and I stayed home and took a much needed nap with AJ. Upon their return, my sister suggested that we all go see this fabulous movie she had seen, Facing the Giants, about a football coach who surrenders to God and allows Him to take the lead in his life. I can't even describe the feeling of awesomeness that I had for our Lord when we left the movie theatre. It made me think about how can someone not believe? That just blows me away! Then I thought, "Lord, you are so good! Satan ruined my giving you the glory last night for the pictures, so instead tonight, I've decided to make my post about total Thanksgiving for you and your daily shower of blessings, including the success of Kai's surgery & Anna Grace's updates." I was all gung-ho to come home and post away about how great He is and how if we just open our hearts to Him, he will come in like a wild fire, cleaning us out and just making our lives exactly what He wants....for His glory! But oooohhh, no! That would've been too easy. You see. Someone told me long ago that the closer you get to God, the more Satan attacks. And gosh darn it....that is so true!! We all get in the car, tears still flowing, talking about how we are going to spread the word about the movie because it just fills you with so much hope, etc.

(Attack # 2) Somehow the conversation led to something, that led to something else and Amanda made a comment about not telling her Jewish friends about the movie. I said, "Why?" She went on to explain that those were their beliefs...blah, blah, blah. I then went on to ask her, well, the bible teaches us that Christ says that we can only get to the Father through Him. (John 14:6 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.") We ended up going round and round and I could just feel Satan stealing that joy from me. I was fighting hard to keep it! We got home and I went into her room and we talked a bit about how she felt. I think it's mostly teenage questioning, because (praise God!) she does very much believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The conversation was sort of left in the air when I left the room. Again, I could feel myself questioning how to proceed. The worries set in. Satan trying hard to just destroy all feelings of wanting to get on here and give God the glory for everything. Shortly afterwards, I walked back in and she was on her knees praying (with tears flowing) before a picture of The Sacred Heart of Jesus that she has in her room. I asked her to come out and do a rosary with us. Another bit of Bombardier insight....we NEVER stop doing the rosary once we have begun, regardless of whether it's a phone call, a doorbell...anything.

Tonight, (Attack # 3), as I was praying the first mystery at almost 11 pm now, the phone rings...and rings....and rings. Amanda says, "Mom, it's my Dad. He's outside waiting for me to go to the car to get my other bible. I called him before and asked him to bring it to me." What could I say at that point. All concentration was gone with the distraction of the phone call and her getting up. We all stopped while Amanda ran to answer the phone and tell him to leave it in the mailbox and she would get it after we were done with the rosary.

We completed the rosary and we all stood around our small statue of Our Lady of Lourdes that I brought home from Guangzhou during Kai's adoption, and another statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus that I have. We prayed out loud. I asked God for wisdom and guidance and for him to remove anything that was not of him from each and every one of us. Everyone went off to do their thing. I remained a few minutes longer praying. When I was done, I had remembered that we were out of milk and dog food and I needed to run to the 7-eleven. I got in the car and prayed some more. The feeling of joy was coming back. I was gathering up my thoughts that I would put down in my post as soon as I returned home.

Since, my brother-in-law also went to the same retreat as Scott, my sister and nephew have been staying at our house. They sleep in the office where I have 2 beds....AND our computers! For 2 nights now, we've been going to bed almost at 2 am. Usually after the rosary we hang out, watch tv, talk, etc.
(Attack # 4) I came home from getting milk and lo and behold....they are both sleeping. I couldn't very well go in there and turn on the light and start typing. It's almost like Satan just won't give up....but it's ok! My God is so much stronger. When He wants something done, He will make it happen!!! I was a bit angry and decided. OK! I'm not giving up either! I will WRITE on paper (you know, the old fashion way before computers) my post and just transfer it over in the morning. So, that what I did.

It has been two days of total spiritual warfare, but, as Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans, I proudly wear "The Armor of God" and I know that I'm being covered in Christ's light. He not only covers me as a shield, but fills me with His Holy Spirit. My friends, tomorrow I will again post about all that I am thankful for. Oh! And what does this have to do with Scott and the retreat? Because he is the spiritual leader in our household. Him coming home on fire for the Lord, and Amanda and I having gotten closer to the Lord all weekend, would have been a strong-wall ready to proclaim how awesome our God is! Satan figured he'd break it down, cause worries, bring in turmoil and cause arguments (with Amanda's questioning) and most of all, not allow me to post what a great God we serve. Again, his plot what failed. Indeed, what a mightly God we do serve! We can't wait to welcome Scott home and just be filled with the light that will be burning so brightly inside of him!
For tonight, I leave you with the total conviction in my heart that Jesus is Lord and that nothing, with Him, is impossible!! He is the way, the truth and the life.

May He fill your hearts with His light, His peace, and His love. By the way, when I went on to post this, I saw that "miraculously" the post about Anna Grace's pictures had reappeared. This was after having checked and gone to the site 3x earlier today. Hmmm! Goodnight all!