Flying Emotions!

If emotions could be seen, there would be a swarm around me right now. Wow! I awoke this morning to two families who's journey I have been following and are with my agency, receiving their beautiful daughter's in Hefei (where Anna Grace is) today. I am so very happy for them, but knowing that they are so close to my daughter just makes my heart ache even more.

Another good friend also received her adorable son, Noah, this morning and again, while I thrilled with excitement for them, it is so bittersweet knowing that I am still soooooo far away from holding my baby girl. I know that these thoughts are very selfish of me, and I swear I don't mean them in a bad way at all. I love these families and I truly am so happy for them, but it makes me want my baby so badly.

We are only on day 34 of the wait. The average wait to receiving TA (travel approval) has now increased to 114 days from the 90 days that it used to be not so long ago. Again, I know that nothing is impossible with God, just look at my being DTC before the anniversary of my TA.....after I was told over and over that it would be impossible, but it is so hard to keep the faith when hope of things speeding up keeps slipping thru your fingers. I don't even know why I am rushing my life away when we are still waiting for monies to come through so that we could travel, another feat I am putting at the cross, because right now, I have no clue where it's coming from. But, again, in prayer, God fills me with peace that he's in control, so control I am giving Him.

To add to the ups and downs of today's emotional rollercoaster, it was a very bittersweet day in the Bombardier household. Our beloved Phoebe, a fox terrier mix that has been with us for almost 8 years, said goodbye to our family to join another. Phoebe is a very sweet and loyal dog that we adopted from the humane society at only 5 months old. As she grew older, she became very territorial and very defensive of her family nucleus. It got to the point that we were a bit afraid of when strangers approached because she would quickly give them a snarl and not back down. When the boys came home, Kai was TERRIFIED of her. To the point that we had to then put her outside. That made things worse, which is totally understandable because she felt she was being pushed out because of the babies.

Well, we finally got Kai close to her, but then he thought the doggie was a toy. Phoebe was not used to being pulled or pushed or even having little ones around, and when Kai would approach she would growl. AJ is now walking and into everything, and I just know that I can't watch the boys and the dog 24/7 and it was just an accident waiting to happen. It also wasn't fair to have the dog be outside and not part of the family. We couldn't go play in the yard because the boys would immediately go up to her and she couldn't come inside for the same reason. So, after much thought and pain in our hearts we made the decision to take her to the local humane society who does NOT euthanize dogs.

It broke our hearts to leave her there today. Scott and I both said our goodbyes with tears streaming as she was walked away from us. I pray that she find a home with an older couple, who would be perfect for her, that will love her endlessly like she deserves.

It's been a crazy, emotional filled day here today and I'm just ready to bring home our daughter and get life started again!