Pink Dragons & Blessings

Anna Grace's Good Luck Chinese Pink Dragon

from her Daddy!

What a morning this has been. I'm telling you, I know I say it ALL THE TIME, but how do people get along in this life without Christ??!!

As you read yesterday, I posted about my doom and gloom. I spent most of the day crying and going back to those dark days when we were recovering from our failed adoption in Belarus. I was asking God "why"? And not getting answers. But throughout the night and this morning, in His infinite wisdom, he has showed me how blessed I really am, and how could I complain? Satan, shucks, you lost another battle, dude! Your gloom has not robbed me. It has indeed been turned around...AGAIN, for His glory.

When Scott came home last night, I started telling him in detail about what was happening since I just told him that they were adding a step that would add more time. The tears then started flowing...in major form. He hugged me and told me he knew that God had a plan and that he understood how hard it was for me to go through this wait. (FYI: I have the world's MOST patient husband!)

Anyways, I started making dinner and he said he was running out for milk. When he came back, he asked me if I had checked my email recently. I said, "No". Then he said, "I think you should check your email." (this is typical of my husband's behavior when he has something up his sleeve). So, I walk into the office and sitting on my laptop is a little gift bag. Inside the bag is the adorable little pink dragon that you see pictured, a large (my fav!) Kit-Kat bar, and a card. I grab the bag and head to the bedroom where he was with the boys and immediately ask, "Are you gonna make me cry?" He just smiled.

I open the card and inside it read:

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry you're feeling down. It does stink when our little girl gets made to be longer away from us. I'm sorry you're down and wish there was something I could do to make it go away. I'm feeling bummed today also. I was talking to a secretary at work today about Anna Grace and she asked me when we were going. I said, "May....err....no, now it's September". It really hit home then.

I just wanted you to know that you have a husband who loves you and is here for you to lean on...any day, any time you need me, 'cause I love you. Cheer up! I love my wife when she she smiles. I love her more when she's down.

I love you, Scott

PS That's Anna Grace's goodluck Chinese Dragon for you to give her when we meet."

Well, then the tears really poured and I started thinking about how amazingly blessed I am. How many women are searching for a man like this? And God chose ME to be his wife! A minute later, Kai came over and saw that I was crying and took his little hand and wiped my cheek and said, "Mama"? As in questioning if I was ok. Again, I had to take a deep breath and thank God for all that's he's given me....and continues to give me.

I was mentally drained and went to bed pretty early. This morning I awoke refreshed and feeling like it was a new day, but thoughts of Anna Grace still clouded my joy. Then I went to my in-box. I had received emails from several of you kindly reminding me of what I had and that God was in control. Someone who I had never had contact with emailed me saying that she had been following our journey back from when I posted to APC about our not being able to adopt our original Kai. That's almost 2 years ago! But something that really stood out in her words were "But God did roll the stone away...and he will roll this one also." R. Thank you! You are so right. And the stone will be rolled away in His time.

Another wonderful friend reminded me that "When that little girl comes home, the angels in heaven will rejoice—for now, her guardian angel will watch over her and keep her safe". This wonderful person is probably one of the most spirit filled people I know and God having placed her in my life is such a blessing. Thank you, Peg!

She also gave me her thoughts about why China may be doing this, and I have to totally agree. There were MANY disruptions last year. Many people have skipped over from the NSN path to SNs just because the wait is getting outrageous, only to reallize at a point where it SHOULD BE too late, that they cannot handle such special needs. It is a heartbreaking cycle that makes these children wait even longer. Although, I have to say that I am totally in love with a little boy who was turned down after his adoptive family arrived in China....but, God's fingerprints are all over that adoption, because his true family was not ready yet. They are now just waiting for travel approval and God could not have created a more perfect family for him.

And lastly, I want to thank Ily, my sister, for also picking me up and giving me that pep talk. As Peg did, she reminded me that Anna Grace was wonderfully made by our creator, so how can he not want the best for her. I know in my heart that her guardian angel is definitely watching over her and that when we do finally hold her, the timing will be perfect. In the meantime, and for the glory of God, He is gracing me with more one-on-one time with my beautiful boys and daughter, Amanda....and of course, my wonderful husband.

My blessings are abundant in the fact that he has given me a wonderful family, amazing friends and the love and support of a community who my eyes may not know, but my heart certainly does! Thank you, Jesus!

Oh! One last note. Remember my post prior to my depression about the added steps? The one that spoke about the cool program I have and how neat it was that I had people visiting regularly from all over? Well, it moved a couple of them out of "lurkdom"! heh. Interesting how people say they feel they know me through my writing, so when they finally introduced themselves, it really does feel that way. Thanks for coming out of the darkness, T & E. And don't feel bad, I have my share of blogs where I lurk also, but am totally addicted to. :)

I leave you with a poem a friend shared with me many years ago.

I asked for health that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked God for strength that I might achieve; I was made weak that I might learn to obey.

I asked for riches that I might be happy; I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power and the praise of men; I was given weakness to sense my need for God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for but everything I hoped for; In spite of myself, my prayers were answered--I am among all men most richly blessed.

(Unknown author)