Tuesday, January 09, 2007

This is a large reason why....

many families choose international adoption over domestic. I am honored and blessed that God allowed us to grow our family through domestic adoption and gracing us with "AJ", but I can tell you that although we used a very professional and experienced attorney with an impeccable record, who has in every way covered every basis to make sure that this does not occur, the thought always lurks in the back of my mind. Will we ever see ourselves in this situation? I have been assured "absolutely not!" Florida law states that a birth mother who executes a consent for adoption involving a child six months or younger, does not have a grace period in which to change her mind. The consent for adoption is permanent and irrevocable from the moment it is signed, and can only be overturned based on fraud or duress.

What am I speaking of? A Florida birthmother who after 17 months, has literally changed her mind about having placed her twins for adoption.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/LegalCenter/story?id=2780499&page=2

It's scary! It really is! We would fight tooth and nail to keep our son, but sometimes you just have to think, this is why people choose international adoption. Why, after 17 months of having these babies, should these adoptive parents be going back to court to see who should get custody of the children? As much as agencies and adoption attorneys try to minimize the fact that this is so unlikely to happen, the fact remains that it does happen time and time again in the US. The chances, although sad, that Kai 0r Anna Grace's birthparents may come looking for them to want them back are so very slim, that it's one less issue you have to live with as an adoptive parent.

Many things have changed over the years with domestic adoptions. Mostly the fact that agencies, and birthmothers, now advocate much more for "open adoptions". Now, before I start getting tons of emails telling me how awesome some of your open adoption plans are, or from adoptees saying how they wish they had grown up with their birth family in the picture, I want to say that everyone has a right to make their own decision, and for us , it just wasn't in the plan to have an open adoption. We agree that when our little guy is 18, if he then wants to reunite with his birth family, we'd be the first ones in line cheering him on. But, that has to be HIS decision....not ours.

As I was watching this story unfold on the news last night, it made my stomach churn as I saw the clip of the adoptive mother in tears, pleading for her babies that had been taken over the border into Canada to be returned to them. The birthmother, now using every excuse in the book to get the babies back, simply changed her mind and decided those were her children. That's burns me up!

These are just some of my musings and ramblings, but when asked why we are adopting from China.....this is a perfect reason why. For now, I am off to snuggle with my beautiful boys and thank God for each of them!

1 comment:

2China4Ayla said...

Preach it girl!