Anxiety, proscrastination and updates

So, I have a list a mile long of things to do. Families with LOA dates of 4/19 were receiving their TAs today. We are in the next batch with an LOA of 4/27. Our agency director informed me today that it has not been mailed out yet, but it will be "soon". Aaahhh....remember that word from my list of 10 things I've learned? heh! Hence, the "anxiety" portion of the title to this post. I have really LOTS to do. But, still no motivation. I sit here for hours on end, reading the same posts from group to group waiting to see who gets what new acronyms added to their title and where do we fall into that picture?!! Yes, I know. Many of you will tell me to be patient, it will be soon, , etc....etc. But, I clearly remember this part of the journey last time (and even with AJ), I really think this is the toughest part of the wait. You are so close yet, so far.

Again, I have to give a plug to our agency. They have truly been great. I've had oodles of questions and they have happily (at least appeared to be happy.....heh) answered each one of them. Our agency director told me this afternoon that our TA is waiting for a signature and she believes that there is a good chance that we will get it next week. At least I don't have to sit here and hold my breath thinking it will be here by Friday. We are still hoping, praying and wishing that everything continue to stay on task and we will be boarding that plane to China on June 6! When you think about it....that's REALLY pretty soon!!! Just the thought makes me all giddy. I have two dear friends who are leaving this week to meet their beautiful babies. One of them will be going to Anna Grace's orphanage and she will be checking in on our princess! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's see. What else is happening! OH!!!!!!!!! I almost forgot to post on here. I am playing the role of a single Mom this week. And yes, I have to say that I have such respect for all the single moms out there. My hat's off to you! I don't know how you do it. By 3:00 p.m., I am watching the clock and counting down how long before I can put the boys down for the night. I know...sorry, some of you may say that it's horrible that I would even think that, but it's tough handling two little ones 24/7 all by myself, and this week is also a very tough week. Kai had his annual appt. with the cleft team yesterday. I'll talk about that in a different post because it's rather complicated and I'm too tired. We had an appraiser come out to our house today (that made me a nervous wreck), Amanda has a big play that she is in this week (I have been getting costume together and rehearsing lines with her), Kai's staffing meeting for preschool is this week (another huge milestone) and I have to fit in speech therapy in there also. All that with a 1 year old and a 2 year old in tow.

So, you ask....why am I single? No, Scott hasn't decided to fly the coop. He's taking a class up north this week, so we took him to the airport on Sunday afternoon and he will be coming home late Friday night. In a way, I'm glad I've been so crazy because it hasn't given me the opportunity to miss him like I thought I would. You know....curled up in a corner whimpering. :) Actually, by the time night rolls around and I am done with everything I need to do, I'm wiped out and am out like a light.

He made some short videos for the boys and it is so cute to see. It's like the ones I left for Kai when we went to Tennessee. Kai sits in front of the computer and answers all of Scott's questions...i.e.; Are you being a good boy? Kai yells out..."YES!!!" Too cute. He's seen the same videos 10x and interacts each time like it's the first. And AJ sees Daddy on the monitor and claps and laughs!

And about the procrastination. Well, I've begun to pack. Anna Grace and Kai are almost completely packed, but it's so hard to make everything I need, or think I will need, fit it into the allotted number of suitcases I've given myself. It was waaaaaaay crazy last time with the amount of luggage we had (14 pieces!!!). I swore we would never do that again. And this time, it will be one less person carrying luggage because Amanda is not going with us ::sniff::, plus we'll have one extra baby. So, instead of trying to eliminate stuff from the list, I just put it down and figure I'll work on it when it gets closer. I also have a list of gifts to go out and get for the orphanage staff, notaries, director, etc., but do you think I've done that? Noooooooooo! And then, of course, there is all the stuff I could be doing here, like cleaning out closets, making more room for Anna Grace....but have I done that? Noooooooooooo. Instead, I choose to read yahoo groups and blogs of families now in China so that I could live vicariously through them while I wait. Nothing like running around like a chicken without a head the last minute, eh?

We also received our travel package from our agency, who by the way is awesome...did I mention that? We had a phone conference today to go over everything in the package. That was a first. Our past two international adoptions (including the failed one) both sent travel packages and figured we could read and follow the instructions on our own. It's nice to have your "hand held" :) But, truly, nothing could be finalized until we get travel approval and we can confirm our CA (consulate appt.).

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell the past week. My nephew is graduating high school this weekend and my family is coming into town, so you know nothing will get done....and then next weekend is Memorial Day weekend and Tito (my oldest son) is coming into town, plus it's Scott & Kai's birthday, so nothing will get done....and then the weekend after that is just a few days before we are supposed to board a plane. Hmmmm......I guess I am a masochist that likes doing things under extreme pressure.

Ok! I've rambled incessantly. Heading to bed and maybe I will crack open that 4th season of 24 tonight, if I'm not too tired. Sweet dreams everyone. Oh yea...one last thing! I still need to post Mother's Day pictures. UGH!