Total Random Thoughts (long)

I am exhausted, physically and mentally. This has been a beyond crazy week and I don't even know where to start. So, expect this post to be all over the place and it's very long...but again, I want to journal as much as possible to keep for the kids.

First....let me share that I was thrilled to receive an update on Anna Grace yesterday. No pictures, but lots of great insight on our princess.

Here's what we know:

1.Height : 86cm; (same exact height as Kai) Foot length: 14cm;
2.&3. When Fengqin was picked up, there is a pack of quilt with her. On her body, it has the birth note in her pocket which said " was born on Apr.7,2005" .(We will ask to get a copy of it when we get there) (yaaay!!)
4. The orphanage staff named her ; Lu is the family name for the
children , and also the nickname for Hefei city; Feng means she is as rare and special as phoenix ; Qin is to wish that she will have a beautiful life. Her nickname is Fengqin.
5. She entered the foster family at Sunshine Village on Aug.7,2006;
Sunshine village based on the family style fostering program .
6. Fengqin has a good diet. She is not a picking eater. She eats all
kinds of foods including milk, steamed rice, noodles, meat, fish, egg, toufu, and all kinds of fresh vegetables and crackers. Breakfast at 7:00am, lunch at 11:30am, dinner at 18:00pm.
7. She has a routine life. She gets up at 6:30am, takes a nap at
12:30am, goes to bed at 20:00pm. She has a deep sleep usually. (same routine as the boys!!)
8. Fengqin's favorite activity is playing games with other children.
She likes soft and small toys.
9. Fengqin is potty trained in the day time. At night, she is wearing
cloth diaper. (woohooo!! Maybe Kai will catch on now!)
10. When she is angry, you could hold her hands or hold her up, give
her some snacks to her . Sometimes a toy will distract her attention.
11. At night, Fengqin sleeps in the same room with other children.
She sleeps alone on her own crib. She needs to turn off the light to go to bed.
12. Fengqin drinks milk from bottle. The brand is Yili. Mixing 25
grams milk with 200ml warm water.
13. Fengqin's favorite snacks are crackers, candies, banana etc.
14. Now Fengqin is healthy. She had minor colds before.
15. Fengqin has no scar or unknown marks on her body.
16. We haven't found that Fengqin has any allergic problem to foods.
17. Fengqin is active and outgoing. She is not afraid of familiar
places. When she is in a strange place and with strangers, she needs some times to adjust. (we are expecting grieving, but that's ok. We have enough love for her to wait a lifetime for her to adjust! But please keep her in your prayers that God prepare her little heart for this major transition in her life.)
18. Fengqin is at the class of our kindergarten in our orphanage.
19. When you come to China, we will make a copy of the finding ad.
20. We will bring back the items that you mailed or brought to her . (we will have our little picture album back to go over family members with her while in China)
Date: May 16,2007

We are so blessed to have received so much info and pictures & video on our princess. This is almost unheard of in China adoptions. Thank you, Lord...and thank you to our wonderful agency.

Speaking of wonderful agency. There are rumors flying all over the place that families with LOAs of 4/27/07 (same as ours) have received notification from their agencies that TAs are on their way. Our agency director emailed today to advise me that they did receive a DHL package today, but our TA was not in there. ::sniff:: I'm truly ok with that, since I am not expecting it until next week. And again, I am ever so grateful that they even take the time to say it's NOT there. It puts me at peace and takes away the anxiety of thinking..."is today the day?"

So that's it for news on Anna Grace. Now, we move on to Kai.

Monday we had our appt. with the cleft team. He has reached a point in speech therapy where things are rather at a standstill. His vocabulary is expanding daily, but his articulation is very poor. Bless his little heart, he tries so hard. I digress.

At the appointment we met with an ENT, his cleft surgeon, a pediatrician, two speech pathologists, a dentist and a plastic surgeon. Each one took turns doing their evaluation on him (we were there for over 3 hours) and they all met afterwards and came up with a game plan. The result was that Kai has something called velopharyngeal insufficiency, VPI for short. Basically what this means is that his palate is anatomically too short and it does not reach the back of the throat to close the gap needed for air not to escape through the nasal passages. Hence, his inability to prounounce consonants that need air pressure, such as "b, p, k, j", etc. They said that all the speech therapy in the world would not help. So, now what? Another surgery? Well, yes, another surgery. This one will entail taking tissue from the back of the throat and making a bridge to close the area between the soft palate and the throat. This leaves open spaces on each side of this "bridge" allowing him to breathe through his nose. There are many possible complications to this surgery including obstruction of the airways, so as we approach the day that he will have his surgery I will remind you to please lift him up in prayer. The surgeon told us that again it will be 1 or 2 days in intensive care and then 1 or 2 days in a regular room. So, possibly 4 days in the hospital.

That brings us to...when will he have this surgery? Obviously, the sooner the better since we want to break the bad speech habits he is creating in order to compensate. So, we are probably looking at late July sometime.

That moves us on to the fact that Anna Grace will be home just a month before his surgery. As you all know, attachment is a huge issue we need to deal with. She will be sleeping in our bed, be carried as much as possible and I will try to have her be glue to me 24/7 until we feel she is well attached. Now the tough decision. Knowing that I need to schedule Kai's surgery within a maximum of 6 months, preferably much earlier than that, which is why we are looking at late July. How can I possibly stay away from Anna Grace for 4 days after just having gotten home without regressing MAJORLY in our attachment work? I don't know the answer to that. I am leaving it all to God and the power of prayer. The Lord knows my heart and my love for all of my children. Kai physically needs me at the hospital with him. If this surgery (and I was told it was MORE painful than the last) is anything like the last, I MUST be there. But, I also know that her little heart needs to be secure. So, somehow we will have to juggle her visiting the hospital and I will spend some time with her in the lobby playing and bonding, while Scott or my Mom or sister cover for me with Kai and maybe I could even come home for a couple of hours to put her to bed while someone stays with Kai, and then I go back to the hospital to sleep. I'm not sure how I will do it, but I know that if God is presenting the situation, somehow he will provide the answers. Mind you, all of this with two other kiddos in the mix, AJ & Amanda. Little AJ is such a sweetheart and goes great with my sister and my Mom, but I hate to leave him again for 4 days since I will be leaving him for 2+ weeks to go to China. And Amanda is right now just shuffled in the mix between all these little siblings and their needs. It can truly be overwhelming and I am trying hard to take one day at a time and not think about it all at once, otherwise the guilt and feeling of inadequacy will kill me.

On a brighter note. Today I had the staffing meeting with the county in regards to Kai starting preschool with speech/language development classes in our school system. Again, I cannot emphasize enough to those of you bringing home your children to make use of the services that your state has to offer. Early Intervention has been so very beneficial to Kai. He is now aging out of that system and going into the school system's program. At the end of the meeting, it was concluded that he will be attending preschool full time, although I will start him part time until he is ready, at a great school only a mile away from our home. He qualifies for an hour of speech a week, plus we will continue to provide him with the additional hour a week that he now is receiving through EI, although it will be switched to private speech once he is 3. We are also very fortunate that our insurance company covers 60 speech therapy sessions a year. Therefore, allowing him to go year round, once a week!

He was so excited when I told him he was going to school. We take Amanda every morning and he just LOVES it. When I told him this morning, he grabbed his little backpack, loaded it with his little cars, trucks and treasures and stood by the garage door yelling, "Mama, come!" I just hope that when he starts, his enthusiasm remains. :) School will start August 20th for him. We are hoping that his surgery could be scheduled prior to that and that he be healed and ready to go by the time school starts.

That's about it for now. Scott will be coming home tomorrow and I cannot wait. Not only do I miss him, but I know the boys and Amanda miss him so much also. He is such an amazing daddy and one of the biggest blessings and integral part of our home.

My family is coming into town this weekend in celebration of my adorable nephew's graduation. I can't wait to see them. We haven't been together since March. And next weekend, my big boy, Tito, is coming up and I will have all of my babies at home, with the exception of our princess.

Thank you for your continued prayers and positive thoughts for our family and we emerge deeper into forming our family.