Now that our family is complete,

we've officially moved. Our blog that is:

Please continue to follow our journey with 3 little ones and a teenager! There's never a dull moment!

http://www.deliveredfromheaven.blogspot.com

THIS IS IT!!!!!!!!!

We are finally counting down the hours instead of days before we leave to bring home our precious Anna Grace. I wanted to keep the journey travel part separate for her Lifebook, so I have created another blog that we will hopefully journal from daily while we are in China.

We will be spending the first 3 days in Kai’s birth city and from there, head to Hefei, where our sweetheart awaits.

Please keep us in your prayers for safe travels and that Kai’s going back to his birth country be a positive experience. Along with of course, our Anna Grace’s little heart being prepared for her new family. The new link is on the sidebar under Journey With Us To China!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement on this journey of love. Oh! And please remember to sign her guestbook.

Our next post will be from China!!!!

Is this a test of my sanity?

Kai usually takes a nap on my bed every afternoon. Twice now he has gotten into the basket on my nightstand where I have their cologne, baby powder, baby lotion, etc. and has TOTALLY emptied the baby powder everywhere...again, he has done this TWICE! He definitely knows that this basket is off limits to him, and I will win the war so I refuse to move it.

Well, today, I layed him down for a nap, came back out to the living room to continue packing AJs suitcase. About an hour later, I peeked into the room, and he was sleeping soundly. My sweet angel. He woke up from his nap about an hour after that and came out all smiles, as usual.

UGH! A few minutes later I go into our bedroom where my suitcase was on the other end of our king-sized bed (facing AWAY from him, but open) and lo and behold the little (I can't write what I'm thinking)...grabbed the entire thing of baby powder and dumped it all over the top layer of clothes in the suitcase!! Everything was snowy white!! It took everything in my power (after two good smacks on his bottom) to control myself and toss him in his crib. He's done this waaaay too many times now and completely knew because he starting saying..."No! No!" as I was heading into the bedroom. He knew! ::deep breaths:: Needless to say, the clothes in that suitcase had to be pulled out, relaundered and repacked.

An hour later, I start changing AJ who had a wet diaper. I figure I'll put fresh clothes on him, but get sidetracked with something and just change the diaper and put him in the playpen so I can continue with my list. About 20 minutes later, as I head back into the family room, something smells REALLY bad. I head over to AJ and it never fails...he had taken off his diaper and done a repeat performance of what he had done a few months ago! This time, all over the playpen and the stuffed animals in there. This boy LOVES to take off his diaper and spread poop everywhere. It never fails! So, crying (me that is), I grab him....toss him in the tub, and sat on the bathroom floor hysterical. This time there were no pictures.

And we want THREE? Please pray for me. It's been a rough day!!!

Hearts filled with gratitude...

As we enter the final stages of our journey, there are so many people that we need to stop and thank for your roles in our journey to Anna Grace.

First and foremost, to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He led us to our Feng Qin and is now making her our forever daughter. We again humbly give you all the glory, honor and praise Lord for this blessing.

Scott and I are forever grateful to Anna Grace's birthmother for having given her the gift of life. For taking risks and courageously placing her in a place where she would be immediately found. May our Lord fill your heart with peace knowing that she will be a part of a family that will love her eternally.

A big thank you has to go to the world's best dossier consultant, Stephanie Reid. She has taken care of us during both of our China adoptions and not only is she the best at what she does, she is also a wonderful person with her own beautiful treasures from China.

To our children, especially Amanda, for the patience that she has shown throughout this journey. I know it must be tough having gone from no siblings at home to now three. The boys adore you and so will Anna Grace. And to all of my beautiful children, thank you for allowing yet another sibling into your hearts with as much love as I have for each of you.

To my family, especially my Mom, my sister and her husband. For praying for us, and encouraging and supporting us as the world thought we were crazy when we said we were going back, and for being there for us the entire journey.

To my Dad, who although had reservations about us going back again for another special needs child, not only supported us, but helped us financially to bring her home!

To our agency, Heritage Adoption Services. Peggy was amazing when we were trying to scramble to find out the details of Anna Grace's special need when we needed to make a decision. We are forever grateful for her honesty, support and efficiency. And to Vicki, the director, who has gone above and beyond to make sure that all has gone smoothly. We are so very impressed with their professionalism and would use them again in a heartbeat if God ever led us down this path again, although I believe our quiver is full and complete now.

A heartfelt thank you must go to the CCAA and The People's Republic of China, for trusting us once again that we will love and cherish one of their own.

And last, but not least, to a very special group of friends who have been there for me since day one of the journey. I know that you all know who you are. You have listened to me whine incessantly and have rejoiced and prayed with me both in thanksgiving and in requests. I know that it is because of your well wishes and prayers that our Lord has favored us with this blessing. Your friendships are treasured and I am so honored to have walked this journey with each you.

I posted this poem over a year ago on Kai's website when I came across it, and just find it fitting to end today's post with it again. Thank you all again and God bless you abundantly.

Why?

"On the street I saw a small girl,
cold and shivering in a thin dress,
with little hope of a decent meal.
I became angry and said to God:
"Why did you permit this?
Why don't you do something about it?"
For a while God said nothing.
That night he replied, quite subtlety
"I certainly did do something about it.
I made you.'"

Author Unknown

2 days left!! YIKES!!!!

Yikes is right! We have two more wakeups left and I am running out of time. I've gotten a few emails asking where is today's countdown, but I am soooooooooooooo crazy busy today that I haven't had a chance. So, for now, here is the "Count" saying....."NUUUUMMMBER TWWWOOO". I will try and post later tonight.

PS. I had my first dream with Anna Grace last night!!! Ooohhh....I am so in love!

UPDATE ON TODAY: Ok...so, now I sit here answering email and proscratinating. Do you remember me saying I would be twiddling my thumbs with nothing to do but think about Anna Grace on Sunday night? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! I have so much to do. I don't understand how things have piled up. Well, not true. I do understand. It's because I've looked at the list and read it 100x and keep finding other things to do but what's on there.

We got up early today and went to church. WOW!!! What a spirit filled mass. Half-way thru mass I felt this huge shower of peace come upon me. My sister asked me last night if I was nervous? You know, I said, "No...not nervous, maybe a little excited." But the question has resonated in my mind all day, and come to think of it....yes, a bit of excited nervousness is flowing thru my veins. Today for the first time I thought about the fact (I mean REALLY thought) that we will have THREE babies at home. I thought about how miraculous it is that the little girl I had seen in a picture on a waiting child list back in September will be our daughter.....forever!!! That blows me away! How am I so worthy of this blessing? I remember distintcly sitting next to Scott as he was playing a game on his computer when I first came across Anna Grace's picture. At that time, she was listed as "Qin" on the waiting child list. I said..."Oh my God, Scott. Look at this little girl. Isn't she adorable?" He turned to my laptop, looked at the picture and said, "Yes....very cute!" I don't think he thought for one second that I would be thinking that was going to be our daughter. But God knew better. Now, when he sees a new picture, like the one of her on Children's Day before the performance, he walked in, saw the picture on my desktop and said, "OH MY GOD!!!!!! SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!!!!!" I can't wait to see them together.

So, I'm almost all packed. I spent about 4 hours today making AJ's food for 2 weeks. The boys eat homemade Cuban pureed stews that I make them. I usually make a huge batch to last for the week. They devour the thing!!!! And it's so good for them; filled with just about every veggie imaginable and either chicken breasts or beef. Anyways, I had to make two huge batches for my sister to have on hand for AJ and I still have to pack him. Please keep my sister, Ily, in your prayers also while we are gone. She is going from no babies to taking care of AJ and Amanda for the two weeks we'll be in China. As great as my kids are, it's definitely a task to keep them entertained. Amanda is looking forward to spending time with her aunt, and AJ loves being spoiled by his Ayi. I just hope he doesn't forget me. heh. We're taking a webcam so hopefully we'll be seeing them daily.

We also bought a new video camera so I will be able to post a bit of video, especially of gotcha moment!! Amanda was our videographer last time, and she will be missed greatly! I just have to keep telling myself that I want to take in every second of this journey and the time we are spending in our children's birth country. It is an amazing place and I truly want to enjoy ourselves without thinking every moment that I can't wait to get back. Amanda and AJ are in great hands and we will be having contact daily with them..

So, that's it for now. The list has diminished a bit, but still quite voluminous. I will post tomorrow before we pack up the computer. I can't believe 2 more wakeups!!!!

We're moving along!

The day is quickly approaching now when we will board the plane. One of the things I was a bit concerned about a few months ago, I am much at peace with now. That's Kai going back. I was a bit insecure about his feelings and suddenly being immersed around Asians, especially when we live in a city wth a very low Asian population. But, I truly believe that he will be fine. He is well attached, adjusted and knows that we are his family. He is also very much looking forward to seeing his Mei-Mei, Anna Grace.

I can't even count how many times we've shown him pictures of her and explained that she is his baby sister and that she is coming home to be with us forever. He knows the routine. We're going on an airplane to China. Why? To bring home Anna, and to eat!! heh. The latter, for some reason, he always adds on when asked why are we going to China.

I have asked around a bit about our guide in Hefei (pronounced HO-FAY), since I had not heard of anyone having this gentleman. His name is Mr. Ding. :) Well, thanks to the great adoption community, quite a few families responded to my questions. It appears that Mr. Ding is a wonderful and gentle man and very much liked. He is great with the kids and has been doing his job of guide for adoptive families for quite some time. I learned this because I've had families email me about him being their guide back in 1995!

We are very fortunate to have a great agency at the helm and I believe that it will be a great trip! I can't wait to get back to China. Truly a piece of my heart stayed there when we were there last. I know it won't be our last trip, although it will probably be our last one in bringing home a child. We hope to someday return as a family so that Kai and Anna Grace can come to know the wonderful country, rich in history, where they were born.

So, the countdown continues and we are almost ready to count hours before leaving. We are in full-blast-mode of getting things done, especially last minute chores like the lawn and the pool, etc.

Lastly, I just want to say thank you again to all of you that our joining us in our journey in spirit, through well-wishes and prayers.

Aaahh....it's all coming together!

Things are going well. Last night I went to a prayer group that my sister leads at church. Wow! God really wanted me there. I was able to surrender all my anxieties to him and came home refreshed and made new. I know that He is in total control and that all will be perfect, for His glory and honor! I am completely at peace now.

We received our itinerary yesterday! Woohooo!!! Seeing it on paper makes it even more real. I can't believe we are getting so close!!!! I am going to wish the weekend away, although it will probably fly anyways because I want to finish EVERYTHING by Sunday night. I want to lay my head on the pillow on Sunday night and just think about the fact that a week from that moment I will be looking into my beautiful baby girl's eyes, and not just staring at a picture 100x a day. I don't think I'll be able to stop holding her or looking at her for days! I could just hear myself telling Scott, "I can't believe she is ours!!" over and over. YIKES!!!! The thought fills me with the most giddy and wonderful feeling in the world!!!! I'm in labor again and gonna be a Mama soon!!!!! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!!!! ::deep breaths::

Here is our itinerary:

June 13, 2007: Leave US in the morning, via Detroit to Guangzhou, China!

June 14,2007: Arrive in Guangzhou stay at airport hotel.

June 15,2007: Leave hotel in the a.m. to catch flight to YiWu.

June 16,2007: Yiwu city Tour and countryside visit.

June 17,2007: Shopping at Yiwu Small Commodities Center. And leave Yiwu in the afternoon to catch flight to Hefei. Arrive in Hefei in the late afternoon.

June.18,2007: Go to Provincial Civil Affairs to pick up your daughter!!!! Your daughter will be with you forever! (WOOHOO!!!!)

June 19,2007: Do registration , notarization, passport application inthe morning. Shopping in the local department store by walking distance. In the afternoon shopping for shoes and clothes for your daughter.

June 20,2007: Book store and Hefei City Zoo (if you have enough time, you could visit a countryside village on that day).

June 21,2007: Visit finding spot and orphanage/foster family visit.

June 22,2007: Pick up notary paper and passport and leave Hefei for Guangzhou.

June 23,2007: Do medical exam and visa photo taken in the morning.

June 24,2007: Walking outside the island to visit Pet Market, Herb/medicine market, Pearl Market in the morning ; Go sightseeing to Six Banyan Temple and Chen Clay Academy in the afternoon.

June 25,2007: Do visa Appointment in the morning. Go sightseeing to Yuntai Park.

June 26,2007: The morning, go for massages! Then afternoon Oath-taking at Consulate.

June 27,2007: The local guide will send you to the airport for USA in the early morning.

June 27, 2007: Arrive in US, stay overnight and next morning head for home as a forever and complete family!!!!

Getting closer.....

Last night I went to bed at 10:00. Being so close is really mentally exhausting. My mind just doesn't stop thinking and I am pretty upset about leaving Amanda and AJ behind....last night, it was Amanda (I take turns). I loved having her there when we were blessed with holding Kai for the first time and she was also present just a few hours after AJ was born. I so wish we could have afforded for her to go this time, but it just didn't work out. I know that it was intended to be God's plan that she not travel this time, and I also know that she will be fine with my sister, but it's that "Mama feeling" wanting her close to me during such an amazing moment in our lives. I think it's normal to feel that way, but it still hurts.

Our in-country itinerary didn't come in yesterday because our agency received NSN referrals and their translations took priority. It seems like everything is delayed, but I know that much of it is Satan trying to throw in those last minute wrenches and make me wonder if we are even doing the right thing. Although I was bummed because I really want to be finished with all the planning, I took it in stride and decided to head to bed early. Our God is so much bigger! And every fiber of my being tells me that Anna Grace is a child of my heart and created by our Lord to be forever ours.

After a week of complete insomnia and sleeping only 2-3 hours a night, I thought for sure I'd sleep all night. Nope! At 2:05 a.m., I woke up...bright eyed and bushy tailed! I'm done with Season 4 of 24 so didn't want to watch those again. I came to the computer and was happy to see several emails from people who had followed our journey to Kai and AJ and were still checking in and wishing us well on our trip!! I wish I could express how much it means to have so much support, especially as we get closer to that magical day. Thank you all for your sweet comments and emails. They are truly treasured, especially while we are in China when you feel so far away from home.

Getting back to my insomnia, I ended up falling asleep again around 4'ish. The boys were up and going at 7 a.m., so now I'm dragging....again. Oh well. It's part of the journey, I guess.

So, this morning, I await the itinerary so we can wire that money over and we're pretty much done except for some last minute packing, unpacking and repacking. Speaking of packing....I have brought it down to 3 suitcases, 2 backpacks, the laptop, a diaper bag, and the camera bag. And, I believe my Mom will have a suitcase and a backpack. Not bad considering last time we had 14 bags in all.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers that all go well and that we can travel to China and back without any major complications. But, most of all, please continue to pray that our little sweetheart be prepared for her new family and that she not grieve too much. Thank you and God bless!

P.S. When we leave to China, I will be putting our comments into moderation status. The reason for this is because sometimes blogger cannot be accessed in China (do not fear, my sister will post for us if need be, including pictures!) but if our comments are moderated, they will go directly to my email for approval and I can access them that way.

Counting down......

Just writing these words down seem so surreal. I can't believe that in only 6 more wakeups we will be leaving to China.

I am so very anxious to get there. The thought of heading back and being blessed with another child fills every second of my day.

Yesterday we finally got the call that we had been waiting for. Our consulate appointment was finally confirmed for June 25, our requested date.

Shortly after the phone call, our original TA arrived via DHL. That indeed is the Golden Ticket! I felt like Charlie in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when he was opening up the chocolate bar. I slowly opened the package as tears rolled down my face. That one piece of paper is the culmination of all of our efforts and the grand prize awaits us in a far-away land. A beautiful little girl whose life will be forever changed. Everything she has ever known will no longer exist in her world and it will be transformed into what we pray is what her little heart desires.

When I received the call about the CA, I was at my sister's office. I asked our agency director, what else needed to be done....her response, "Nothing....you just need to bring that baby girl home!" Well, that's all I needed to burst into tears on the spot. Again, I can't believe it's finally happening! It's been a great relief to work with our agency. They seem to have everything under control and working like a well-oiled machine, while providing very personal service.

We had some struggles with our airline tickets, but all-in-all, it worked out fine, except for the fact that on the way to Detroit, we couldn't get seats together....but we'll live. I just want to get to China. I also want to put a plug in for our travel agent, Sue Sorrells from Campbell Travel. She was amazing and worked really hard to get us a great price, considering the time of year, and how packed the summer flights are. We leave Ft. Myers on Wed. June 13 and return back home on Thursday, June 28. We are spending the night in Detroit on the 27th. We should be receiving our complete itinerary tomorrow, including in-country travel. I have received several emails from friends/family wanting to meet us at the airport when we return. Although exhausted, we would be honored to introduce you all to our latest blessing. Prior to leaving I will post more about this.

A big part of our journey is going back to YiWu, Kai's birth city. Being so sick last time, it is all a blur. And something about being there fills my mind with thoughts of "Is his birth mother watching? If she ran into us would she "know" that was her little boy?" I know it's absurd in a city of over 4 million people, and who knows if she is even from the city, but I just can't help wondering.

I've digressed. Going back to the preparations for Anna Grace's journey. The only thing left for me to purchase was those darn gifts. UGH! Although I've been through it before, and have been often reminded that it's not a big deal, it's just a truly difficult task for me. So much so that I worked myself up into getting one of those horrific stress migraines. Thank goodness for Amanda who took care of AJ while Kai and I napped. My wonderful hubby took the helm when he got home and made dinner and bathed the boys. After a few hours, some pills, and some quiet time in a dark room.....I am much better.

Things are pretty much going as scheduled and I hope to be completely done and sitting back relaxing by Sunday night, with nothing left to do but watch the clock tick down to that magic hour!

Oooohhhhh..... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I know we may be biased, but Anna Grace is just so beautiful to her Baba & I. I called our agency this morning to find out if our consulate appointment had been confirmed yet, and the director had the task of informing us that the confirmation was not in yet. UGH!!!

BUT....we received an amazing "consolation" gift!!!!! June 1 was Children's Day in China and apparently Anna Grace's orphanage puts on little performances. Well, our agency received a picture of our baby girl today prior to her performance. Oooohh......I am sooooooooo in love with this girl. Isn't she adorable? ACK!!!!!!!!!!! GET ME TO CHINA NOW!!! 8 days and counting!

Here's our sweetheart:

Please Help Bring Rachael Home

Is there a sweeter picture than this little one? Who is she? Well, she is (God willing) my friend, Charlotte's new daughter, Rachael Jane YuZhu.

Charlotte already has 2 beautiful China sweethearts and God has placed little Rachael on her heart. Little Rachael has albinism and is waiting for her forever family.

My reason for posting here is because I, and many other adoptive parents, know the struggles of coming up with the funds to unite these precious angels with their forever families. The costs of adoptions are sometimes so out of reach, but I also know that nothing is impossible with our Lord and Savior.

Charlotte, a single mom, is doing a massive fundraising campaign to bring home her baby girl. If you find it in your heart to help, please head over to her website, Move Over Mountains, and browse through the multitude of options that Charlotte has put together to raise help raise funds, from Ebay to magazine sales, there is something for everyone. Every penny helps and the end result is a beautiful child coming home to a forever family. Thank you and God bless!

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. - James 2:14-17

Oh Yeah!!!!

Time for Coffee!!!!!

Oh yea. I'm definitely in "labor". Last night I got my first real dose of pre-baby insomnia. It happened with my three biological children. It happened while I waited for AJ to come into the world. It happened prior to our traveling for Kai. And now it's happening as we enter the countdown to leave for Anna Grace.

At about midnight, I started watching an episode of Season 4 of "24". Almost 2 hours later, I finally shut off the TV set. I must've layed there for about an hour, tossing and turning as thoughts of the 1,000,000 things I need to get done reverberated in my brain. I have lists of my lists, but somehow haven't brought myself to actually start checking them off.

I am exhausted this morning! Today I take Kai to speech therapy and then will come home to make another Must-Do-This-Week list. I really need to get on the ball, since I'm running out of time. Scott is Mr. List. You give him a list and he goes down it, one by one, efficiently checking them all off. You give me a list and I just look at it and say, "Oh, my God! I'm never gonna get this done!" Then I put it down and off I go. Proscrastination at its best. Ummm.....sorta like I'm doing now!

On that note, I am going to start my day. Hopefully we will get CA confirmation today and I can finalize the travel plans. It's still so very surreal to think that in 12 days we'll be boarding the plane and in 17 days we will be eye to eye with the our beautiful daughter. Just thinking about it sends my heart spinning out of control and turns the butterflies in my stomach into life-size bats!

UPDATE: Our Consulate Appointment confirmation did not come in today. :( Therefore, we need to wait until Monday to begin the finalization of our travel plans. Regardless, since we asked for the 25th, 26th, or 27th as consulate dates, we will be leaving on the 13th and just spending a day or two extra in China, if need be.

Doing the "TA" Dance!!!!!!

We Are Snoopy Dancing in Florida!!!!!!!!!

Filled with praise and thanksgiving to our Lord, we are ELATED to say that we have FINALLY received our TA!!!!!!!!!!!

We have asked for a CA of June 25 and will be boarding the plane to the ancient country of China on June 13. Anna Grace will be in our arms for the first time on Father's Day!

Thank you all for your support, prayers and patience. :)

LOI- 10/6/06

PA - 11/20/06

DTC - 2/6/07

LID - 2/13/07

LOA - 4/27/07 (day 73)

TA - 5/31/07 (day 107 and 34 days from LOA)

CA - 6/25/07 (waiting for confirmation)

TRAVEL - 6/13/07 - 6/28/07

We will be boarding the plane exactly 9 months from the date that we received that amazing email asking if we were still interested in Feng Qin.

No More Doubting Thomas!!

Yes, that is what I am promising again. A good friend mentioned previously to me that we will see God's reasons for His delays. When I was in the midst of the black hole, not only did I not want to hear it, but although I love our Lord with all my heart and soul, I feared that there was no "miracle" to come from this wait. I WAS WRONG!!!

This isn't something that I would normally share with the world, but it is something that I must share, because all the glory and honor HAS to be given to our Savior for His (once again) perfectly orchestrated plan.

About a month ago, Scott & I, set out to refinance our house. When all was going smooth, we hit a major snag, one that we feared would not allow us to continue with the refinancing. Then ontop of it, we were planning on leaving on the 6th of June to China, which would not allow us enough time to close on the loan before we left if we had indeed solved the issue.

Well, as we all know, TA never came. Therefore, pushing out our traveling date back at least a week to now leaving June 13. This morning, I got a call from the bank. The loan was approved. The snag was untangled. So, where is the miracle, you ask? Last night, we received an email from our agency that our TA is on its way and we should receive it this week, therefore, allowing us to leave on the 13th, with hopefully a CA (consulate appt.) of June 25. But that's not the miracle....the miracle is that because we are leaving later, we CAN now close on the loan before leaving AND we do not have to make mortgage payments for June OR July, therefore giving us the needed cash on hand for our travel money, which we were still trying to figure out!!!

God had to cause the snags with the financing, had to cause the delays with the TA and had to push back our date of leaving in order for our adoption finances to be solved. I did all that whining, crying and doubting while in the meantime, He was busy perfecting what I thought was a mess! It wasn't. It was His plan from the beginning, perfectly laid out. I prayed daily for help with the finances and He was answering.

So, we are feeling pretty good that we will get TA this week, that we will get a CA of June 25, that we will be leaving on June 13, that we will be holding our beautiful Anna Grace for the first time on Father's Day, and the icing on the cake, our funds are complete for the adoption. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!! I shamefully ask for you to forgive me for (once again) being that doubting Thomas and give you all the praise, glory and honor for this miracle.

The Celebration of Life....& Eternal Life.

This weekend was a pretty bittersweet weekend. On one end we celebrated the birthdays of two of my guys. Kai and Scott shared their birthday celebration with a small family get-together and a little fun in the sun. Our little guy turned 3! It's been an amazing year and he has grown in every sense of the word. Both of my guys are huge blessings to our family and I thank and praise our Lord for allowing us to share in this celebration. Here are some pictures of our day together.

While we celebrated Kai & Scott's birthday, I received a somewhat awaited phone call that my uncle, Gilberto, had passed away. It's during moments like those that I am so ever grateful to God, our Father, for giving us hope of eternal life through his son, Jesus Christ.

My uncle was probably one of the kindest and most gentle men I've ever met. He is the definition of the word gentleman. He never had a unkind word towards anyone and always had a smile on his face. I pray the Lord pour his mercies upon him and I know that my uncle is gathered with passed family, and all of the angels and saints praising our Savior in the Heavens today! I also pray that He grace my cousins and aunt with his peace that surpasses all understanding. It is so difficult to lose someone you love and try to look at it in a positive way. But, we were indeed very blessed to have had him with us for so long and to feel the love that he shared with all those that surrounded him. As we said our goodbyes, we were really celebrating life; eternal life. The Lord has assured us that by calling him home, where he has created a special place in His kingdom, we will someday be together again.

My sweet uncle, Gilberto and I, back in September 2006.

A couple more!

HERE SHE IS!!!!!

Our beautiful girl. I couldn't sleep and I kept going to April's blog (which is password protected...sorry) and refreshing. Nothing. Finally, at 5:30 a.m., I finally tried one more time, and there was this little face staring back at me!!!!!!!!! I sat there and just let all the tears flow. Oh my gosh, she is so beautiful.

But wait. I went back to bed and got up a bit ago, to find not one, but TWO video clips of our precious Anna Grace. April is giving her an adorable soft bunny that she got her and was able to hold her and tell her that her Mama will be there soon, and that April & I were good friends.

April, I know I told you this, but I just can't say it enough. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! This has been a terribly emotional and difficult week, and you have made my heart soar with joy by allowing us to see our girl. She looked a bit confused (can you blame her?) on the video, but I think we will be just fine. OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SCOOP HER UP AND LOVE ON HER NOW!!!!!!!!!

Here are the videos!!! (Gosh, lots of exclamation points on this page! That's a good thing!)

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Remember to turn off the background music by clicking the red "x" next to the refresh button on your address bar.

A very happy Mama this morning!!!!! Now, PLEASE....C'mon TAs. My baby girl is waiting!!!!!

Recap of today

Well, I've learned that if you stay really busy, there's no time for moping and feeling sorry for myself. I spent a good 2.5 hours with the boys at the doctors office. Kai is finally caught up on all his shots and poor little AJ got his share today also. Six shots in all. My heart was breaking for him. Shot after shot he'd look at me with those big eyes, huge tears flowing down his cheeks as if begging me to make them stop. I had to turn away. Tonight he is running a temp of 102. Kai got off easy - two shots, no fever and he's ready to go to China.

I was again pleasantly surprised by a few emails from some of my readers that have made my heart so much lighter. Thank you!!! I was also pretty shocked that my site had over 150 hits today! It amazes me how people are interested in my pretty non-eventful life...heh.

One of the emails I came home to tonight made me very happy. It was from the 2nd to last of my "waving hello" lurkers. Guess who de-lurked today? The Broomfield, Colorado reader! How cool was that?!! And what makes this even cooler is that this young woman is doing something amazing with her life. She is packing up, leaving the comforts of home and volunteering in an orphanage in So. Africa for a year. People like that deserve every blessing and grace our Lord has to offer. Amanda and I often speak about someday going on one of the Love Without Boundaries cleft trips to China. I look forward to sharing with her about this reader and her aspirations. I can't think of anything that would fill my heart with more joy than giving of myself fulltime to babies and children who have no one. But alas....I have my own family and my own babies and children to contend with. Who knows, maybe later in life.

Speaking of Amanda, tonight we went to her awards assembly at school and once again, she has made us proud. I am honored and blessed to have such a smart, beautiful and loving daughter to raise for our Lord.

Since the boys were not feeling well, they stayed with Po-Po while Scott and I went to the assembly. It was nice sitting quietly without anyone climbing up your shoulder or wiggling non-stop on your lap during an event. We even had the opportunity to go out for a quick dinner and actually sit and talk. When we got home they were still up and going through their 2nd round of the movie "Cars" with Po-Po. But, I guess, that's what Grandma's are for. :)

Ahhh....some good news for a change! I am beyond excited and cannot wait to wake up tomorrow morning. My friend, April will be going to Hefei SWI tomorrow and God willing, will be checking in on our Anna Grace. I haven't had any updated pictures since March ::gasp:: and am so excited to see what she looks like. If she's grown, if her hair is longer and to hear a little more about what she's like. I pray that April is able to see her. Gosh, that would make this incredibly long and terribly rough week so much sweeter. April, thank you ahead of time for your efforts, regardless of the result. You are a sweetheart.

Lastly, I wanted to share that after I posted about our LOA date and being "the only ones" not to get TA. I did receive a few emails from others in our same position. Not that I wish that upon anyone, but misery loves company and I am glad that it is because CCAA is caught in a backlog (what a surprise!) and not that our file is lost somewhere. So, here's to all of us with 4/27 LOAs still waiting. May God bless us all very soon with that golden ticket that will carry us an ocean away to an ancient land called CHINA!

Again, facing a new day

I am soon leaving to take the boys to the doctor for their regular visit (and shots!), but I wanted to post on here before leaving. I have to say that it is thru all of you that I am making it through this, and God's grace, of course.

I really tried to stay away from the computer yesterday after the news, since all I was doing was going from group to group seeing all of the 4/27 LOAs jumping for joy with their news of TA. My heart truly is happy for them. Those babies all deserve to come home....now.

But, I have to be honest and admit that it saddened me even more after reading everyone's good news. I don't think there is anyone left with the same LOA date as ours that did not receive TA, except for the other family in our agency. I just don't understand it. We are on day 26 of the TA wait, with the norm being 14 - 21 days.

My sweet friend, Peg, said something very poignant to me. God has a reason for having us being in China at the time we are there. As always, we don't know His ways, and whether it's an ephiphany or not, I have to trust that it will be perfect and He is holding our hands through the entire journey.

Waking up to all of your comments and emails, many that included devotionals and scriptures, words of love and support, and just a simple "I understand" sent with hugs has filled me with renewed strength and hope to take in another day. I again ask you to please keep your prayers coming. They are felt and the ride, while still pretty wild filled with constant ups and downs almost on a hourly basis now, is getting bearable. I know it's because I have all of you on the sidelines rooting for us! THANK YOU!!!! You are truly the best and I know that there is no way I could get through moments like this week without your support. Much love and may God's blessings fill your day!

I give up.

This was the response from our incountry facilitator today after checking on our TA with CCAA. It is ourselves and another family. I am besides myself. Who knows now when we will hold our daughter. I am complete and total emotional mess. I have no control over anything, and I don't understand why there has to be no consistency. There seems like there is nothing left to do but function on auto-pilot and crawl back into my hole.

"The two travel permissions for Hefei families haven't sent yet. CCAA said that there are more than 300 travel permissions transferred to them this week and they will assign the regular program first . Then they will do the special needs program.”"

A new day

Well, I woke up this morning feeling better. I am staying away from the computer. I just finished giving the boys breakfast and am dressing them (yaaay....no more pajamas!!) and taking them out to spend a day in the Florida sunshine.

Again, our agency is on the west coast, so if today is the day to hear anything, it won't be until this afternoon. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, they are being felt indeed!!!!!

Sinking quick

Yes, that's what it feels like right now. I feel like I am being pulled at warp speed into a black hole. I think sometimes you just have to go through those dark moments to be able to get past them and see the light again. Except that right now, I feel like there is so much darkness and no light anywhere.

Scott came home tonight with chocolate and kettle chips for me. He knows that my heartache will not be cured with these....but it helps. :) He keeps telling me it will happen in God's time. I know that...but I'm tired of hearing it. I don't want to hear anything like that anymore right now. My faith is strong, but I am starting to feel defeated. It's hard to understand why CCAA is so off balance when it comes to sending out anything. There were lots of TAs received today (including some friends from yahoo groups), but nothing for us. I just don't understand it. We will be on day 25 tomorrow, when the average time between LOA & TA has been 14-21 days.

Yes, I know about God's timing. I know it will happen. I know all those things. Right now, I'm just miserable. I want to be able to cry and pout and shout and just be able to express how totally and completely miserable I am feeling. We, the boys and I, stayed in pajamas all day. I carried that darn phone around everywhere I went. I could not think of ANYTHING but getting that freaking phone call, with the exception of finances because each passing day airfare gets more and more expensive and seats continue to fill up! Let's not even mention consulate dates being filled up. I feel that life should stop until I could get mine going again. But, it doesn't. And that annoys me! It really annoys the hec out of me right now. I guess that's what they mean about misery loves company. I want to share my pity party with those that are as miserable as I am right now.

I spoke to my sister, Scott, Amanda and a few other people today about the wait, and it just seems like no one understands. I've been there, so I know how they are feeling, but unless you've actually been in this position of waiting, you can't understand the pain that being so close, yet so far, causes. Scott has learned through this process not to attach himself to the degree that I do. I AM already her mother. She is my daughter, and we are an ocean apart. I HATE THAT! I have been looking at Anna Grace's beautiful little face for almost 9 months now. I can close my eyes and envision what she is like, how she smells, how her voice sounds. Yes, it's all in my dreams, but I'm so tired of dreaming!! My heart and mind tell me she's not a dream. She is real. Yet, she is still so far away that I can only see her as a dream. I am totally rambling now, all I really want to say is that I am ready to bring my girl home and I don't know what else I could do but pray. Could you please join me? I truly don't want the "it will happen" comments, I just want to know that we are bringing her home...soon. Thank you all for your support, friendship and understanding.

ACK!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE!! The wait for TA when you are THIS close has got to be the absolute, most anxiety ridden portion of this entire roller coaster ride. It's reaching that peak of the roller coaster. You know what I'm talking about - when you are waaaay up there, and ever-so-close that you could almost see miles around from the top, but still need to get thru a few more rungs of the wooden clackity-clack sound before you reach the peak?

That's where I'm at right now. The phone goes with me EVERYWHERE! We are on the east coast. Our agency is on the west coast. Therefore, it is still early there. Yahoo groups are starting to post TAs with the same LOA date as ours. I have worn down my refresh button going from group to group seeing how many TAs have come in. I've prayed, cried, and tried to sleep off the anxiety.....nothing!

PLEASE LORD.....RAIN DOWN TAs ON US TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Our agency emailed and said that DHL did not have anything from China for them today. They will be checking to see if it is en route. I am TOTALLY and COMPLETELY bummed. I thought, of all days that I needed an uplifting, today was it. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Hopefully tomorrow will be the day???

Special Deliveries!!!!!

Miss Ayla - Isn't she beautiful?

Sweet Aiden - I just LOVE this boy!!

Precious Brady - Wow! That smile lights up a room!


Wow! What a way to start the week. My friends, Tonya and April both received their beautiful children, Ayla & Aiden, last night while we slept. The Loos family received their adorable son, Brady earlier in the week. Oh my goodness, if this doesn't make your heart soar, I don't know what does!

C'mon TAs!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so blessed!

I am now, at almost 1 a.m., checking my email after a very long day filled with graduation fun and spending time with family. But, before going to bed, I just had to write back in response to all the comments and emails that I had waiting. I am honored and blessed to have such wonderful friends. The support I receive from all of you, even those whom I do not know, truly humbles me. Thank you!! Gosh, where do I start?

First, Amy...no, you aren't the Broomfield reader. You're in Berthoud. And I know exactly what you mean about being jealous of me. I remember coming back with Kai and still wanting to go back to China, although I had agreed with Scott we were done. I think I may have written this before, but a friend once told me that adopting is like eating potato chips.....you can't have just one! Oh my gosh, that has to be one of the most true statements I have ever been told. Unfortunately, our "last potato chip in the bag" is Anna Grace. But, I can say with all honesty that I enjoyed every bite of each chip I ate. :)

I also want to thank those of you that "de-lurked". WOW! How cool is that?!!!! And to my reader from Tracy, Califonia. We share the same LOA? Maybe we will end up with the same Consulate appointment in China! So, here's to TAs definitely coming in soon! Please keep me posted on yours.

Another de-lurker, Janelle! Thank you for coming forward. I know it's tough to delurk when you've been doing it a while. I still lurk many sites myself. :) It's so cool to read that many followers of Anna Grace's journey followed us through Kai and AJ's journey home. I, too, am glad that I haven't had to password protect my blog because I have made wonderful friends through the blog and I love journaling. Not to mention that it's important to me to make sure that others are reminded that all of our blessings come from God. Also, I am a huge advocate of waiting children and if someone can read about how resilient and loving these kids are, it might make the difference about whether or not they take that leap of faith. One child that can find their forever family because of something that might have moved their heart from my blog, is worth every nasty person or comment I may encounter. I wish your LOA come at record speed!

Shelly, thanks for taking the Wisconsin reader credit. :) Too funny! You are always so sweet and I love your blog and hearing about your beautiful family.

Dawn & Carissa, and Kelly.....your words of support mean so very much! Thank you. And Kelly, I just want you to know that I am insanely jealous that you went to go see Michael W. Smith. Please email me with details. He is without a doubt my absolute favorite Christian singer. I was so close to getting tickets until my sister reminded me that it was my nephew's graduation tonight. He's lucky I love him so much. I passed up Michael for him. :)

And a huge thank you to all of you that emailed me privately with your support. I have been graced by God that I don't harbor negative feelings and have learned to forgive. I know people are put in your path for certain reasons and I believe that this person was put in my path when I needed her to be, and possibly when she needed me. Does that mean that is doesn't hurt that my kids were put down? Of course it does, but I know why I love them so much and that's all that matters. As Amy mentioned, can a mother ever love their children too much? I don't think so! I don't blame any mother in the world for wanting to yell from the rooftops how incredibly amazing their children are. I think every child brings something special to this world, and I never tire of hearing my friends tell me how wonderful their kids are. That's because....they really are!

Heading to bed filled with a truly humbled heart and again, blessed beyond measure at the love and support that surrounds me. It's readers and friends like you that make me love blogging! I will definitely have to "wave hello" more often.

Waving Hello

Tonight I have lots of time on my hands. I've picked myself up after accepting the fact that our TA didn't come. As I sit here watching the clock tick while I wait to head to the airport to pick up Scott from his midnight flight (ugh!!), I thought I would wave a friendly hello to a few of my loyal everyday readers. I know many of you that check in daily as we also speak via phone or email privately, these are readers that frequent Anna Grace's site whom I am not familiar with. So for today I'm sending out a great big hello to:

Medina, Ohio

Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin

Harvard, Illinois

Lombard, Illinois

Saint Louis, Missouri

Tracy, California

Broomfield, Colorado

Thank you for following the journey with us.

I did want to mention that ironically, I have a reader who I know personally and had the audacity to tell me that she felt my "love for my children was over the top", yet I've noticed that she continues to check my blog quite frequently. Interesting, huh? Must be like a train wreck. You can't stand it, but can't look away.

Have a great weekend everyone and may next week be filled with a downpour of referrals, LOAs and TAs for all of us waiting!

Total Random Thoughts (long)

I am exhausted, physically and mentally. This has been a beyond crazy week and I don't even know where to start. So, expect this post to be all over the place and it's very long...but again, I want to journal as much as possible to keep for the kids.

First....let me share that I was thrilled to receive an update on Anna Grace yesterday. No pictures, but lots of great insight on our princess.

Here's what we know:

1.Height : 86cm; (same exact height as Kai) Foot length: 14cm;
2.&3. When Fengqin was picked up, there is a pack of quilt with her. On her body, it has the birth note in her pocket which said " was born on Apr.7,2005" .(We will ask to get a copy of it when we get there) (yaaay!!)
4. The orphanage staff named her ; Lu is the family name for the
children , and also the nickname for Hefei city; Feng means she is as rare and special as phoenix ; Qin is to wish that she will have a beautiful life. Her nickname is Fengqin.
5. She entered the foster family at Sunshine Village on Aug.7,2006;
Sunshine village based on the family style fostering program .
6. Fengqin has a good diet. She is not a picking eater. She eats all
kinds of foods including milk, steamed rice, noodles, meat, fish, egg, toufu, and all kinds of fresh vegetables and crackers. Breakfast at 7:00am, lunch at 11:30am, dinner at 18:00pm.
7. She has a routine life. She gets up at 6:30am, takes a nap at
12:30am, goes to bed at 20:00pm. She has a deep sleep usually. (same routine as the boys!!)
8. Fengqin's favorite activity is playing games with other children.
She likes soft and small toys.
9. Fengqin is potty trained in the day time. At night, she is wearing
cloth diaper. (woohooo!! Maybe Kai will catch on now!)
10. When she is angry, you could hold her hands or hold her up, give
her some snacks to her . Sometimes a toy will distract her attention.
11. At night, Fengqin sleeps in the same room with other children.
She sleeps alone on her own crib. She needs to turn off the light to go to bed.
12. Fengqin drinks milk from bottle. The brand is Yili. Mixing 25
grams milk with 200ml warm water.
13. Fengqin's favorite snacks are crackers, candies, banana etc.
14. Now Fengqin is healthy. She had minor colds before.
15. Fengqin has no scar or unknown marks on her body.
16. We haven't found that Fengqin has any allergic problem to foods.
17. Fengqin is active and outgoing. She is not afraid of familiar
places. When she is in a strange place and with strangers, she needs some times to adjust. (we are expecting grieving, but that's ok. We have enough love for her to wait a lifetime for her to adjust! But please keep her in your prayers that God prepare her little heart for this major transition in her life.)
18. Fengqin is at the class of our kindergarten in our orphanage.
19. When you come to China, we will make a copy of the finding ad.
20. We will bring back the items that you mailed or brought to her . (we will have our little picture album back to go over family members with her while in China)
Date: May 16,2007

We are so blessed to have received so much info and pictures & video on our princess. This is almost unheard of in China adoptions. Thank you, Lord...and thank you to our wonderful agency.

Speaking of wonderful agency. There are rumors flying all over the place that families with LOAs of 4/27/07 (same as ours) have received notification from their agencies that TAs are on their way. Our agency director emailed today to advise me that they did receive a DHL package today, but our TA was not in there. ::sniff:: I'm truly ok with that, since I am not expecting it until next week. And again, I am ever so grateful that they even take the time to say it's NOT there. It puts me at peace and takes away the anxiety of thinking..."is today the day?"

So that's it for news on Anna Grace. Now, we move on to Kai.

Monday we had our appt. with the cleft team. He has reached a point in speech therapy where things are rather at a standstill. His vocabulary is expanding daily, but his articulation is very poor. Bless his little heart, he tries so hard. I digress.

At the appointment we met with an ENT, his cleft surgeon, a pediatrician, two speech pathologists, a dentist and a plastic surgeon. Each one took turns doing their evaluation on him (we were there for over 3 hours) and they all met afterwards and came up with a game plan. The result was that Kai has something called velopharyngeal insufficiency, VPI for short. Basically what this means is that his palate is anatomically too short and it does not reach the back of the throat to close the gap needed for air not to escape through the nasal passages. Hence, his inability to prounounce consonants that need air pressure, such as "b, p, k, j", etc. They said that all the speech therapy in the world would not help. So, now what? Another surgery? Well, yes, another surgery. This one will entail taking tissue from the back of the throat and making a bridge to close the area between the soft palate and the throat. This leaves open spaces on each side of this "bridge" allowing him to breathe through his nose. There are many possible complications to this surgery including obstruction of the airways, so as we approach the day that he will have his surgery I will remind you to please lift him up in prayer. The surgeon told us that again it will be 1 or 2 days in intensive care and then 1 or 2 days in a regular room. So, possibly 4 days in the hospital.

That brings us to...when will he have this surgery? Obviously, the sooner the better since we want to break the bad speech habits he is creating in order to compensate. So, we are probably looking at late July sometime.

That moves us on to the fact that Anna Grace will be home just a month before his surgery. As you all know, attachment is a huge issue we need to deal with. She will be sleeping in our bed, be carried as much as possible and I will try to have her be glue to me 24/7 until we feel she is well attached. Now the tough decision. Knowing that I need to schedule Kai's surgery within a maximum of 6 months, preferably much earlier than that, which is why we are looking at late July. How can I possibly stay away from Anna Grace for 4 days after just having gotten home without regressing MAJORLY in our attachment work? I don't know the answer to that. I am leaving it all to God and the power of prayer. The Lord knows my heart and my love for all of my children. Kai physically needs me at the hospital with him. If this surgery (and I was told it was MORE painful than the last) is anything like the last, I MUST be there. But, I also know that her little heart needs to be secure. So, somehow we will have to juggle her visiting the hospital and I will spend some time with her in the lobby playing and bonding, while Scott or my Mom or sister cover for me with Kai and maybe I could even come home for a couple of hours to put her to bed while someone stays with Kai, and then I go back to the hospital to sleep. I'm not sure how I will do it, but I know that if God is presenting the situation, somehow he will provide the answers. Mind you, all of this with two other kiddos in the mix, AJ & Amanda. Little AJ is such a sweetheart and goes great with my sister and my Mom, but I hate to leave him again for 4 days since I will be leaving him for 2+ weeks to go to China. And Amanda is right now just shuffled in the mix between all these little siblings and their needs. It can truly be overwhelming and I am trying hard to take one day at a time and not think about it all at once, otherwise the guilt and feeling of inadequacy will kill me.

On a brighter note. Today I had the staffing meeting with the county in regards to Kai starting preschool with speech/language development classes in our school system. Again, I cannot emphasize enough to those of you bringing home your children to make use of the services that your state has to offer. Early Intervention has been so very beneficial to Kai. He is now aging out of that system and going into the school system's program. At the end of the meeting, it was concluded that he will be attending preschool full time, although I will start him part time until he is ready, at a great school only a mile away from our home. He qualifies for an hour of speech a week, plus we will continue to provide him with the additional hour a week that he now is receiving through EI, although it will be switched to private speech once he is 3. We are also very fortunate that our insurance company covers 60 speech therapy sessions a year. Therefore, allowing him to go year round, once a week!

He was so excited when I told him he was going to school. We take Amanda every morning and he just LOVES it. When I told him this morning, he grabbed his little backpack, loaded it with his little cars, trucks and treasures and stood by the garage door yelling, "Mama, come!" I just hope that when he starts, his enthusiasm remains. :) School will start August 20th for him. We are hoping that his surgery could be scheduled prior to that and that he be healed and ready to go by the time school starts.

That's about it for now. Scott will be coming home tomorrow and I cannot wait. Not only do I miss him, but I know the boys and Amanda miss him so much also. He is such an amazing daddy and one of the biggest blessings and integral part of our home.

My family is coming into town this weekend in celebration of my adorable nephew's graduation. I can't wait to see them. We haven't been together since March. And next weekend, my big boy, Tito, is coming up and I will have all of my babies at home, with the exception of our princess.

Thank you for your continued prayers and positive thoughts for our family and we emerge deeper into forming our family.

Anxiety, proscrastination and updates

So, I have a list a mile long of things to do. Families with LOA dates of 4/19 were receiving their TAs today. We are in the next batch with an LOA of 4/27. Our agency director informed me today that it has not been mailed out yet, but it will be "soon". Aaahhh....remember that word from my list of 10 things I've learned? heh! Hence, the "anxiety" portion of the title to this post. I have really LOTS to do. But, still no motivation. I sit here for hours on end, reading the same posts from group to group waiting to see who gets what new acronyms added to their title and where do we fall into that picture?!! Yes, I know. Many of you will tell me to be patient, it will be soon, , etc....etc. But, I clearly remember this part of the journey last time (and even with AJ), I really think this is the toughest part of the wait. You are so close yet, so far.

Again, I have to give a plug to our agency. They have truly been great. I've had oodles of questions and they have happily (at least appeared to be happy.....heh) answered each one of them. Our agency director told me this afternoon that our TA is waiting for a signature and she believes that there is a good chance that we will get it next week. At least I don't have to sit here and hold my breath thinking it will be here by Friday. We are still hoping, praying and wishing that everything continue to stay on task and we will be boarding that plane to China on June 6! When you think about it....that's REALLY pretty soon!!! Just the thought makes me all giddy. I have two dear friends who are leaving this week to meet their beautiful babies. One of them will be going to Anna Grace's orphanage and she will be checking in on our princess! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's see. What else is happening! OH!!!!!!!!! I almost forgot to post on here. I am playing the role of a single Mom this week. And yes, I have to say that I have such respect for all the single moms out there. My hat's off to you! I don't know how you do it. By 3:00 p.m., I am watching the clock and counting down how long before I can put the boys down for the night. I know...sorry, some of you may say that it's horrible that I would even think that, but it's tough handling two little ones 24/7 all by myself, and this week is also a very tough week. Kai had his annual appt. with the cleft team yesterday. I'll talk about that in a different post because it's rather complicated and I'm too tired. We had an appraiser come out to our house today (that made me a nervous wreck), Amanda has a big play that she is in this week (I have been getting costume together and rehearsing lines with her), Kai's staffing meeting for preschool is this week (another huge milestone) and I have to fit in speech therapy in there also. All that with a 1 year old and a 2 year old in tow.

So, you ask....why am I single? No, Scott hasn't decided to fly the coop. He's taking a class up north this week, so we took him to the airport on Sunday afternoon and he will be coming home late Friday night. In a way, I'm glad I've been so crazy because it hasn't given me the opportunity to miss him like I thought I would. You know....curled up in a corner whimpering. :) Actually, by the time night rolls around and I am done with everything I need to do, I'm wiped out and am out like a light.

He made some short videos for the boys and it is so cute to see. It's like the ones I left for Kai when we went to Tennessee. Kai sits in front of the computer and answers all of Scott's questions...i.e.; Are you being a good boy? Kai yells out..."YES!!!" Too cute. He's seen the same videos 10x and interacts each time like it's the first. And AJ sees Daddy on the monitor and claps and laughs!

And about the procrastination. Well, I've begun to pack. Anna Grace and Kai are almost completely packed, but it's so hard to make everything I need, or think I will need, fit it into the allotted number of suitcases I've given myself. It was waaaaaaay crazy last time with the amount of luggage we had (14 pieces!!!). I swore we would never do that again. And this time, it will be one less person carrying luggage because Amanda is not going with us ::sniff::, plus we'll have one extra baby. So, instead of trying to eliminate stuff from the list, I just put it down and figure I'll work on it when it gets closer. I also have a list of gifts to go out and get for the orphanage staff, notaries, director, etc., but do you think I've done that? Noooooooooo! And then, of course, there is all the stuff I could be doing here, like cleaning out closets, making more room for Anna Grace....but have I done that? Noooooooooooo. Instead, I choose to read yahoo groups and blogs of families now in China so that I could live vicariously through them while I wait. Nothing like running around like a chicken without a head the last minute, eh?

We also received our travel package from our agency, who by the way is awesome...did I mention that? We had a phone conference today to go over everything in the package. That was a first. Our past two international adoptions (including the failed one) both sent travel packages and figured we could read and follow the instructions on our own. It's nice to have your "hand held" :) But, truly, nothing could be finalized until we get travel approval and we can confirm our CA (consulate appt.).

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell the past week. My nephew is graduating high school this weekend and my family is coming into town, so you know nothing will get done....and then next weekend is Memorial Day weekend and Tito (my oldest son) is coming into town, plus it's Scott & Kai's birthday, so nothing will get done....and then the weekend after that is just a few days before we are supposed to board a plane. Hmmmm......I guess I am a masochist that likes doing things under extreme pressure.

Ok! I've rambled incessantly. Heading to bed and maybe I will crack open that 4th season of 24 tonight, if I'm not too tired. Sweet dreams everyone. Oh yea...one last thing! I still need to post Mother's Day pictures. UGH!